r.i.p., john hughes

As any good child of the 80s should, I adore John Hughes, and I honestly can't think of a single director who held a stronger influence over me during my formative years. Watching his movies as a child helped prepare me for what my teenage years would bring: heartache, confusion, frustration, social conflicts, and wily attempts to outsmart my high school principal. Wherever he is now, I hope he is well.

FAIL: the time traveler's wife movie trailer

No, Hollywood! This is ALL WRONG:



Romance isn't usually my genre, but I LOVED Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife. It was maybe one of the most romantic things I have ever read while still being well-written, smart, original and complex. However, if this trailer accurately depicts the tone of the film adaptation, it looks like Robert Schwentke had turned something beautiful, strange and special into another run-of-the-mill, cheesy date flick. I hate the way that it's cut, I hate the stupid song that's playing, and I hate how completely ordinary it looks. Blerg.

movie recommendation: let the right one in

Although I'm probably the last English teacher left in America who has not yet read any of the Twilight books, I feel like I've overheard enough fourteen-year-old conversations about them to be able to safely make this statement: If you are looking for a vampire flick that is the very antithesis of Twilight, then Tomas Alfredson's Let the Right One In is your film.

Like Twilight, Let the Right One In is the story of a cautious and delicate love between a human child and a vampire who will forever remain an adolescent; however, unlike Twilight, this is a subtle, artful, and markedly mature affair. Set in a frozen suburb of Stockholm, in a town that has been plagued with a rash of puzzling murders, lives Oskar - a shy and delicate 12-year-old boy who is being ruthlessly bullied at school. Oskar's a painfully lonely boy, which is probably what endears him to Eli - a sallow-faced girl who only comes out at night, seems impervious to the winter's cold, and who has recently moved in next door. Oskar and Eli soon forge a hesitant friendship that later turns into a fragile love, a love which - taking a page from classic vampire mythology - can only exist once Oskar invites Eli in.

Granted, I love stories of childhood misfits and underdogs, so Let the Right One In is exactly my cup of tea; however, there's no small number of things to admire about this movie. It's a superbly crafted, beautifully directed, elegant film, and a very welcome "grown-up" addition to the vampire canon. Rent it before some hack goes and makes a needlessly gory, sped-up, Americanized version.

where the wild things are

So, have you seen the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are yet? It's directed by Spike Jonze, the screenplay was written by Dave Eggers, and to say that I am excited about this film adaptation of one of the bestest, weirdest, most wonderful children's stories ever writ would be an understatement. My spine! She shivers!!!

regarding coraline

Alright, doves, here's my uninvited advice for the day: if you had any intentions of maybe seeing Coraline, then do it. Now. In the theater. In 3-D. (I'll wait.)

I know you, and so I know what you're probably thinking: That's nice Mrs. White, but I still think I'll just wait until it comes out on video. There's other things I want to see, and I don't particularly feel like wearing 3-D glasses during a movie, and it's not showing in the theater in town, and that's what Netflix is for, and cartoons are dumb, and I don't like weird things as much as you do, and la de da de da...

And to all that I'd repeat: See it now. In the theater. In 3-D. Otherwise, I'm not even sure you should bother with it at all.

Here's why: Absolutely stunning visual effects aside, Coraline is good film, however not great one. Admittedly, I have not yet read the graphic novel that the film was based on, yet I am comfortably certain that Neil Gaiman's story is better served in print than on the screen. On a strictly story level, Coraline suffered from the same affliction that graphic-novel-turned-film Persepolis suffered - the story couldn't help but feel noticeably condensed. Too much was made to happen in too little time, so some of the nuances has to be sacrificed for the good of the overall story. Viewers get the gist, but not necessarily the soul of the tale.

So, even if Gaiman's disturbing story about a lonely little girl who isn't careful what she wishes for is a compelling one, what makes Coraline the film so compelling isn't so much the story as it is the visuals. Without the 3-D element, Coraline would still be a beautiful, beautiful film, but with it it's transcendent. In the hands of a lesser director, I'm sure that the effects could have become a gimmick, but Henry Selick proves that he's a wizard with the taste and restraint to use this magic to immerse us into the story rather than fling it into our faces. The result is a film that looks as gorgeous as it does strange, and as realistic as it does other worldly.

You will not get this same textural effect sitting on your sofa in your living room, and you will most definitely be missing out. I'm not sure how filmmakers are planning on dealing with the home video aspect of this new 3-D push, however even if they somehow find a way to replicate it for home video it could only be, at best, a weak substitute. You need a dark room and a giant screen and the ability to view this technology as it was intended to be seen. I just don't see how the experience can be replicated, and I'm not even sure they should bother to try. If this this is the future of 3-D, then consider me a fan - a fan who concedes that the experience is worth the trip to the theater.

And this is exactly how one should view Coraline - in 3-D, with the silly glasses, how it was intended. It's a achingly stunning film, and is still showing in a theater just a few miles from my house. (Wink.)

a few riiiight under the wire pre-oscar night thoughts

Truth be told, The Academy Awards are the ONLY awards show I give a damn about, and even if I don't see as many new release movies as I'd like to, I try to at least make a point of seeing all the five Best Picture Noms before the actual awards are dispersed.  It was tight this year, but after braving a mini snow storm to catch Frost/Nixon yesterday, I met my goal.  And even if the Academy hasn't seen fit to consult my opinion on the matter, here's a few thoughts all the same.

Firstly, I'm happy to say that I genuinely enjoyed all five of the Best Picture nominees this year, which isn't always the case.  Of course, I have my favorites and there's one or two that I'd be disappointed see see win, but all five were truly great, highly watchable movies, and each brought something unique to the table.

But with that said, my favorite of the bunch, and the movie I'd most like to see win Best Picture, is:

Slumdog Millionaire

I know this is hardly a unique choice - "Slumdog" appears to be the clear favorite to win going in - but there's a reason for that; Slumdog Millionaire is a glittering jewel of a movie that has a little bit of everything. It's a fairy tale, a story of redemption, a study in social injustice, and even a Bollywood-style musical.  I know there's been some critical backlash against this movie - some don't like the dance number at the end, others are upset at Boyle's depiction of India, and many complain that the story is too unrealistic - but to all those complaints I cry foul.  To criticize the ending or the film's realism is to miss the point: "Slumdog" may depict some gritty and all-too-real truths, but at its core it's a fairy tale, and a magnificent one at that.  

And so even if I'm happily expecting to see "Slumdog" win, the movie that wins a very close second place position in my heart is: 

Milk

I ADORED Milk.  Truth be told, I might even be happier if it took the award since it was such a beautiful movie, yet a bit of an underdog.   I put this movie off for a bit because I was worried that a movie that ends in a political assassination would be too sad for my delicate sensibilities, but after seeing it I realized my concerns were unfounded.  Milk's life may have ended tragically, however his story is inspiring and the movie was incredibly warm and uplifting, despite the ending. Furthermore, even if Milk's story is over thirty years old, it's probably the most timely, most important film of the bunch.  Milk is such a inspiring story of social activism that a thought kept nagging at me while I watched:  if this movie had been released BEFORE the vote on Prop 8, would the result have been different?  I can't help but think that it may.   

An addendum - I know that Mickey Rourke is probably going to win for Best Actor, but I really don't want him to.  He did a fine job in The Wrestler, but I couldn't help but feel as if he was playing himself more than anything.  Sean Penn, however, was Harvey Milk, and so even if my feelings regarding Penn are often mixed, I would be very, very happy to see him win the award instead.

Next is the nominee that the critics love to hate: 

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I will admit that this is the most flawed of all the nominees; however, I will not apologize for the extent to which I enjoyed it.  Yes, it's a bit like Forrest Gump and Titanic in the sense that it's the big Hollywood epic that's probably the most overrated piece of the bunch. However, I would argue that it's a much better film than either of the aforementioned movies.  Even still, I will acquiesce that "Button" was 30 minutes too long, adding the references to Hurricane Katrina was a sticky choice, and the viewer was asked to suspend his disbelief a bit too much at the end.  Still, it's a very enjoyable movie.  This doesn't change the fact that I'd hate to see it win.

The movie that's the most stereotypically "Oscar-ish" film?

The Reader

Don't misunderstand me, The Reader is a wonderful film; however, Holocaust pieces are in danger of becoming an Academy Award cliche, no?  The Reader is a thought-provoking film that's beautifully shot and perfectly acted, yet something about it left me cold.  I suppose that's par for the course when one considers the subject matter (we're being asked to sympathize with Nazis?!?), but it's largely the reason that this was one of my least favorite films of the bunch.  I'm glad I saw The Reader, but I don't feel compelled to see it again.  

As a side note, Kate Winslet will probably win Best Actress for her performance in The Reader, which is just fine by me.  She's consistently amazing.

And last but not least:

Frost/Nixon

If I had to pick, I suppose Frost/Nixon would be my least favorite of the five films nominated, although that's hardly meant to imply that I didn't enjoy it.  If Sean Penn weren't nominated for Best Actor, then I would be pulling for Frank Fangella, as his Nixon was pitch-perfect.  For that matter, Michael Sheen was excellent as Frost, even if I'd never heard of Sheen before.  Ultimately, Frost/Nixon's biggest asset was in its performances, and since the other films had some pretty knockout performances as well, it's hard for me to throw too much love Frost/Nixon's way.

So there you have it.  Please file any questions or complains in the space below.

the curious case of forrest gump

I won't apologize for the extent to which I enjoyed "Benjamin Button," however I must admit that the similarities are hilariously apparent...

2008: a scattershot reflection

I'm been a bit manic with my posting this week, I know, but it turned out that I had more ideas for end-of-the-year posts than I had time to write them.  If you're even reading this - my fifteenth or something post in the last four days - then congrats.  You're a more patient person than I.  I promise to slow things down next week, but before putting 2008 in its grave I have a few more things to say.

My initial intent was to pen separate posts on my favorite moments, books, albums, movies, etc of the year, but after looking back on it, 2008 - although a great year for music - was a fairly average year for books and a downright underwhelming year for movies, so this is the sort of situation when a more scattershot approach will do. 

Musically speaking, my personal favorites would be a four-way tie between Basia Bulat's Oh, My Darling, Liam Finn's I'll Be Lightning, Bon Iver's For Emma, Forever Ago, and Dr. Dog's Fate. I've written about all of these before so I won't say anything else other than this list is based purely on personal preference and was compiled in the most haphazard of fashions, so if you ask me about it tomorrow I'd probably produce a totally different list.  

Discussing books is harder because I feel like there's so much that I haven't had a chance to read yet, however of what I HAVE read, I'd probably list Tom Rob Smith's Child 44 as my favorite "for pure entertainment" book, Jane Mayer's The Dark Side as my favorite "important stuff you should all read" book, Cory Doctorow's Little Brother as my favorite Young Adult book (my review's coming soon), Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay as my favorite "book that wasn't released this year but that I finally got around to reading already" and Samantha Hunt's The Invention of Everything Else as my overall favorite new release of the year.  

And as for movies...I got nothing.  Although, I did recently see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Slumdog Millionaire, and liked them both quite a bit.

Finally, on a personal level, 2008 was a pretty meh year for me.  Sure, there were plenty of good moments (the election being a particularly notable one), however looking back on it 2008 certainly had its fair share of moments that tested both my patience and generally sunny disposition.  I have not and will not get into any of that here, but trust that 2008 had some shitty bits for yours truly.   Some good bits to be sure, but some shitty bits too.

So, what does a girl do to fare better in 2009?  Well, Jessica from Jezebel recently referenced this excerpt from Anne Lamott's book, Hard Laughter, and I think it's a stellar idea:

I said that I thought the secret of life was obvious: be here now, love as if your whole life depended on it, find your life's work, and try to get hold of a giant panda. If you had a giant panda in your back yard, anything could go wrong — someone could die, or stop loving you, or you could get sick — and if you could look outside and see this adorable, ridiculous, boffo panda, you'd start to laugh; you'd be so filled with thankfulness and amusement that everything would be O.K. again.

So there you go.  My one and only resolution for the new year is to get me a giant panda.  And I shall keep it in my backyard, which is, thankfully, quite spacious.  Cheers!

pointless sunday list: the five most overrated films of all time (according to me)

#5:  Titanic (1997)

The only reason that Titanic comes in at #5 is because I'm fairly confident that there are very few who would try to argue that this film is not overrated.   A cliched story of two star-crossed lovers undone by circumstances beyond their control, Titanic offers positively nothing new in terms of plot or theme.  Sure, the acting is fine, the plot pedestrian but not terrible, and the set meticulously researched and executed. But really... it's the top money making film of all time?  It ran in the theaters for an incredible 9 months?  The Academy - a group of people who are supposed to know more than the rest of us about what makes for great cinema - felt this sappy, over-priced soap opera was deserving of an award for Best Picture?  Really???  My current theory is that Celine Dion embedded subliminal messages into "My Heart Will Go On," forcing the mass of humanity to go temporarily insane for the whole of 1997 until the latter part of 1998, when we finally awoke - confused, hung-over, and wondering what the hell we were all thinking.

#4:  Forrest Gump (1994)

I'm not going to lie - I loved Forrest Gump when I first saw it in the theater.  Of course, I was also sixteen-years-old and still pretty wet behind the ears.   But even now that I'm older, snootier, and significantly more jaded, I'll admit that Forrest Gump is an enjoyable film with a fantastic soundtrack.  It's just that it's all a little too cutesy, convenient, and artificial to truly be deserving of all the serious critical praise heaped upon it.  Seriously, it won six Oscars, including one for Best Picture.  And, sorry, but...how?  Was the Academy comprised entirely of sixteen-year-old girls that year? Stupid is as stupid does, indeed.

#3: Scarface (1983)

Ugh...Scarface.  Just saying its name makes the bile rise in my throat.  Unlike the rest of the films taking up spots on this list, Scarface is the only one that I will argue is a truly terrible movie with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.   It is a poorly acted, poorly written, comically violent, flaming piece of crap.  Every single character is unlikeable, Pacino's Cuban accent is laughable, and it's sprinkled with just enough jump cuts and f-bombs to make every fifteen-year-old boy in America laud it as a work of sheer brilliance.  And for those who would try to defend its language and violence on the basis that it is a gangster movie, then please - watch Goodfellas, The Godfather or Casino to see how it's supposed to be done.  If I could, I would tell this movie off, right before punching it out in front of all its jerk-face friends.   Scarface.  Blech.

#2: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1986)

Okay, hear me out on this one.  I know that 2001: A Space Odyssey is considered a pioneering film in terms of visual effects, and I will not even attempt to argue that it is undeserving of that praise.  However, in terms of plot it's a three hour long, confusing, meandering mess.  This movie crawled as far as pacing, and not in way that I could defend for its artistry.  As a cinematographic exercise, "2001" is great; however, as a watchable film, I'm sorry but it's a giant FAIL.  Now go on, sci-fi nerds  - throw your Spock ears at me.  I'm a big girl.  I can take it.

#1: Citizen Kane (1941)

Citizen Kane is widely considered the finest, most important film ever made.  It's the #1 film listed on the AFI's Top 100 Films of All Time, and is hailed a masterpiece by critics great and small.  But what I honestly want to know is, why?  Sure, technically speaking, Kane is pretty great.  As a character sketch, it does the job quite nicely.  And in 1941, its techniques were highly innovative and worthy of both admiration and awe.  But if one were to compile a list of its charms, then surely pacing and plot would not be listed  among them.  Speaking frankly, Citizen Kane takes tremendous effort to watch, and does not warrant multiple viewings.  Is it a bad movie? No.  Is it an important movie?  Yes.  Is it the single best film ever made?  Um, no.  I think not.

the art of terror

In honor of Halloween, my film class has been studying the art of the horror movie, so - and as you can probably imagine - it's been a pretty fun couple of days. Sure, far too many of my kids think that the Saw franchise is *awesome*, but I'm proud to say that when pressed, most of my students will concede that the most satisfyingly creepy and unsettling scenes from the genre aren't necessarily determined by the level of violence, depravity and gore strewn across the screen, but rather by the mood a truly skilled filmmaker can create through an artful application of his craft.

Naturally, this all got me thinking about what my favorite non-gory and yet still completely freaky moments are in cinema, and so here's my personal picks. Enjoy.

28 Days Later: Jim Wakes Up

I'm a person who's far more scared of things that actually might happen than she is of the supernatural, and thus 28 Days Later - a film set four weeks after a viral holocaust has decimated the city of London - totally gets under my skin.  In a film full of violence and gore, one of the most disturbing scenes is as devoid of blood as it is of people.  It's when Jim - freshly awoken from a coma - wakes up to discover that the world has come to an end while he slept.  His slow, confused walk through the vacant London streets reminds one of how the unknown can be more terrifying that the monsters you can see.  Boyle's use of silence in the beginning is truly eerie, and then his slow musical  build coupled with his sweeping long shots over the empty streets and hazy sky is as gorgeous as it is creepy.  (And yes, that's a German accent you hear.  The only version I can find was dubbed in German, but all he says is "hello," so I figured it wouldn't matter much.)

Silence of the Lambs: Clarice and Buffalo Bill Face Off

Silence of the Lambs definitely has its fair share of gross-out scenes, but the scariest ones for me have always been the moments that are purely psychological.  Hannibal Lecter is creepy for sure, but the scariest moment of the entire film comes at the end, when Agent Clarice Starling realizes that she is in the home of the serial killer whom she has been hunting - totally alone and with no backup coming to her rescue.  The decision to cut the lights and film the majority of the scene from Bill's nightvisioned point of view was a stroke of terrifying brilliance, and no matter how many times I watch it, the sound of Foster's panicked breathing and the helpless sweeping of her hands through the darkness, mere inches away from the monster himself, always makes me hold my breath in nervous anticipation.

The Shining: All Work and No Play...

Stanley Kubrick's The Shining very well may be my favorite scary movie of all time, and it's right up there with my favorite films of all time as well.  And in a movie full of horrifying moments, one of the freakiest is also one of the simplest.  Wendy, suspecting that not all is well in paradise, decides to sneak a peek at the novel that Jack's been plugging away at for months, only to discover that it's hundreds of pages of pure madness.  Her husband hasn't just cracked, he's been cracked for quite some time, and the close up on Shelley Duval's face as she helplessly flips through the manuscript, coupled with Kubrick's masterful use of frantic music is just brilliant.

Misery: The Hobbling Scene

Annie Wilkes is the perfect argument for why madness trumps monsters in the scariness department.  Paul Sheldon, a writer whose biggest fan unfortunately happens to be a total loon, has recently been caught trying to escape from her terrible care, and so Annie decides that she must teach him a lesson.  You know, to keep him safe!  Because I'm a big baby, I always cover my eyes the moment she swings her hammer into Paul's ankle, but maybe the scarier moment is the one after the deed is done - when she looks at him with complete adoration and total sincerity and says, "God, I love you," as "Moonlight Sonata" plays ever so softly in the background.

Feel free to share your favorite scary moments if you'd like to play along, and Happy Halloween!

random posts of pretty

Recently, I was able to catch the film Fur, a marvelous, cinematically lovely, and fantastically bizarre "imaginary portrait" of famed photographer Diane Arbus. The movie is certainly worth your time, if for no other reason but than to see Robert Downey Jr. playing a man suffering from a condition that covers his entire body in a thick coat of fur. (And yet he somehow remains dead sexy. That man is one rare specimen, no?)

Anyway, watching Fur piqued my interest about the true life and work of Diane Arbus, so I thought I'd do some investigating. What I discovered is that her photographs are every bit as unsettling, unique and - yes - lovely as the film they inspired. And I absolutely lurve them.

Here's a sampling of some of my favorites:

act one of the godfather (facebook news feed edition)

This isn't the first time that I've shamelessly stolen from McSweeney's (and, frankly, it probably won't be the last), but after reading this, I had a nearly impossible time rewatching The Godfather without thinking of it in terms of a Facebook News Feed. I'm too lazy to do the entire film, but I did do the first act, and it went a little something like this:

Michael Corleone is back from the war.

Michael Corleone and Kay Adams are attending an event: The Fabulous Wedding of Connie Corleone and Carlo Rizzi.

Don Corleone has joined the group "Sicilian Mafia Bosses Who Can Refuse no Favor at their Daughter's Wedding."

Don Corleone is busy.

-                     -                   -

Sonny Corleone has been Superpokin'!

-                        -                          -

Johhny Fontane has added "starring in Jack Woltz's new war picture" to his list of interests.

Jack Woltz is no longer friends with Johnny Fontane.

Don Corleone thinks Johnny Fontane is a crybaby, but cannot refuse his godson this favor.

-                       -                         -

Jack Woltz has become a fan of stud horses.

Don Corleone has given Jack Woltz an offer he can't refuse.

Jack Woltz isn't about to let no greasy-haired goomba push him around!

Don Corleone has thrown a decapitated horse head at Jack Woltz.

Jack Woltz and Johnny Fontane are now friends.

livin' a life with one less shame: take that, citizen kane!

A funny thing happened to me yesterday.  Unfortunately, it happened to my face.  

See, ever since I started swimming I've developed an unfortunate eczema issue around my eyes.  It had calmed down for a while, but then flared up again on Tuesday, so I thought I'd treat it with a super-strong lotion.  Apparently this was a very bad choice, because I woke up this morning to a scaly, red-hot, swollen mess.  Seeing how I currently look a bit like a cross between a raccoon and a battered wife, I thought it best I stay in today.  (After all, I already have an uncanny knack for reducing small children to tears even when I don't look a monstrous mess.)

The silver lining to all of this is that staying holed up indoors forced me to cross something off my bucket list: Citizen Kane.  You may recall me mentioning this film on my list of secret cultural shames, and seeing that I'm teaching a film course next month and I'd be just about the worst film teacher in the world if  I'd never completed a viewing of this cinematographic masterpiece, I decided it was time to set my swollen, red 'coon eyes on the prize and just finish it already.  And so I did.  And so...

...I...genuinely...freakin' loved it, which sort of came as a surprise, honestly. Sure, everyone says they love Citizen Kane - to claim otherwise is to risk your taste level becoming immediately suspect - but how many average, modern viewers really do love it?  And for perfectly understandable reasons: the plot was a bit scattered, some of the visual effects that were so innovative at the time look downright hokey today, and damn that's a long time to spend watching a movie without one single boob, car chase or explosion! It takes considerable effort to watch Kane, and the twist at the end explains everything while at the same time explaining absolutely nothing.  It's a taxing, frustrating, beast of a flick.  But despite all of this, I was completely won over.  It was such a visual pleasure that I didn't particularly mind all that other stuff.  And the best part was watching it a second time through while listening to Roger Ebert's commentary, available on the extras of my DVD. It was like having the opportunity to drop in on a free, two hour-long lecture given by one of the all-time greatest film professors.  Consider it highly recommended.

Of course, undercutting my enjoyment of Kane was the realization that my students will most likely loathe this movie.  Lack of boobs and blood aside, it's long, tedious, and black-and-white (the kiss of death), and in this current culture of instant Internet gratification I fear the modern young adult may not have the requisite attention span to appreciate an epic such as this.  But perhaps I'm not giving my future students enough credit.  For both our sakes, I truly hope so.

So all-in-all, though I might look a fright, at least I'm one monstrous, scaly, red-hot swollen mess who's seen Citizen Kane.  Whoohoo! Score one for the freaky lookin' chicks!

in five

The end of the school year - while sugar and spice and everything nice - seems to have consumed most of my energies and attentions. Come June I find myself very much like many of my students - tired, anxious, snarky, and unable to focus on one thing for longer than five seconds at a time. So even though The Strangers and Iron Man are producing deafening siren calls, watching some of my old movie standbys neatly condensed into five(ish) seconds is currently much more my speed:







More here, and happy hump day.

random posts of pretty

My second favorite moment from my all-time favorite movie, Hal Ashby's Harold and Maude:



(Can you think of a more eloquent anti-war visual statement? I can't.)

oscar overview: written by other people, but approved of by me

I'm far too tired today to develop my own ideas, so instead here's a collection of thoughts expressed on other blogs written by other people, people who appear way more capable of expressing their post-Oscar night opinions than I could ever hope to be. So maybe I didn't say these things, but I agree with them all the same.

On Enchanted's three nominated songs:

If I never hear another song from Enchanted, I'm fine with that. Honestly. In fact, if there's a way to go back and erase my having heard them in the first place, I'm game, even if it means losing a few other nonessential brain functions.

- John Williams (A Special Way of Being Afraid)

Regarding Marion Cotillard taking home the Best Actress award:

She’s French, she made a really moving biopic that no one saw about singer no one’s heard of, and she’s coincidentally beautiful. La Vie en Rose was a movie for grown-ups, and the Academy ultimately is composed of people who want to feel like they’re making the most professionally respectable choice available. Cotillard’s winning out over Page doesn’t have anything to do with their respective performances; Cotillard is the classy choice, which means Page was never even in it.

- Daniel Carlson (Pajiba)

On Costume Design:

Thank god Elizabeth won for Costume Design. I was starting to worry no one would ever recognize the brilliance in recreating old, giant dresses.

- (I Watch Stuff)

On Jon Stewart as host/Marketa Irglova's acceptance speech:

One of the three best moments of the evening was when he escorted that nice Czech Once girl back out to give her thank-you speech. It was like the kids standing on their desks at the end of Dead Poets Society.

- David Edelstein (The Projectionist)

Regarding Tilda Swindon's Best Supporting Actress win:

I was really surprised that Cate Blanchett didn’t win for her portrayal of Bob Dylan in I’m Not There considering the Oscars' love affair with the actress. I was even more surprised, though, that David Bowie instead won the award in full Ziggy Stardust attire, surprisingly without his Spiders from Mars.

- Taylor (Music for Kids Who Can't Read Good)

On being torn over whether to love or hate Marion Cotillard's weird quilt dress:

On one hand, it looks like what might happen if fish scales and lace mated. On the other, it's French and so is she, and she's so pretty and she was so, so lovely and adorable when she won, and you know what? I think I might sort of....like it. She looks like a sexy fish-lady on her wedding day...

- Jessica (Go Fug Yourself)

regarding juno

Hating Juno seems to be as popular right now as buzzing it up was last fall, so let me begin by saying that the objective of this post isn't to shred the film. Truth is, I liked Juno – at least, parts of it – so crucifying it would never have been my intent. It was what I expected it to be - a cute, feel-good piece that succeeded in making me smile, cringe and get all emotionally swollen. However, Juno also irritated the hell out of me, and before you get frustrated and roll your eyes, please allow me a minute to explain why.

I could go on for miles on all the nitpicky things that got under my skin, but even I admit that many of those irritants (like: Why all the cute indie rock music in a movie where the protagonist so clearly embraces the 1970s punk scene?, and "Honest to blog" this dialogue is annoying!) aren't particularly important to the overall product, and addressing a long list of grievances is annoyingly hypercritical. But here's my biggest issue, the one I couldn't shake, the one that prompted me to write this post rather than just leave well enough alone: Juno is a completely unrealistic sixteen-year-old girl.

Since we're only sixteen for one short year of our lives it's easy to forget what the experience was truly like, but having spent the better part of the past seven years with them, I know of sixteen-year-old girls. And not just in a classroom; I've logged plenty of hours with them in their natural state. I've wandered through myriad cities with them, stayed in hotels with them, endured day-long bus trips and airplane flights with them, played games, watched movies, gone shopping and gossiped with them, and counseled them on every imaginable aspect of their drama-filled lives. I know them. And not just for one year - I see sixteen-year-olds every year. They may forget what they were like, but on my end there's a revolving door of them to serve as a constant reminder.

From where I stand, rather than creating a truly believable protagonist, Diablo Cody created the sixteen-year-old girl we all wish we could have been - one who is sharp, composed, rational, witty, independent and in control. But you know what? That's not real. At least, not to be all these things at such a young, awkward age. In the character of Juno, Cody created the girl we all wished we could have been; however, this girl is, unfortunately, a fantasy, and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get past that. Would it have been nice to have been or at least to have been friends with someone like Juno? Of course. But I see Juno like Ferris Bueller* - most of us would have liked to have been like that as a teen; however, it just wasn't so.

Now, you may protest that this film is fiction, and as such it can house any sort of character it likes. I won't argue that point with you; however, here's the thing: Juno isn't just any sweet little coming-of-age comedy. It's a Best Picture nominee, and as such it is now the target of more criticism than it ever would have received otherwise (mine included). Did I like Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Of course. Would I have balked if it were nominated for a Best Picture Oscar? Absolutely. And although Juno is a stronger, more serious, and far more complex piece than the aforementioned one, I just can't get behind it taking a spot as one of the five best films of 2007.

Overall, Juno is a good little film that probably doesn't deserve all this disdain, but I can't blame the critics. I blame the Academy (whose judgment I stopped trusting the moment Titanic took home a Best Picture trophy, by the way). Juno should have been left alone to be adored by its many fans, so shame on the Academy for putting such unfair pressure on such tiny little shoulders.

* Credit for the Ferris Bueller/Juno parallel should go to my husband, although I support the comparison.

at the movies: four things i highly recommend

Ironically, although I love movies it seems like I rarely get around to actually watching them.  A Netflix subscription has helped, but in general I'm still rather shoddy at keeping up with the cinematic world.  However, if there's one good thing to come of the writers' strike it's my gigantic increase in movie consumption, which became self-evident when the list of Oscar nominations was released and - lo and behold - I discovered I had already seen three of the five noms for Best Picture.  Even on a good year, my batting average is never that high.  

And so - seeing that I have this bloggity thing-a-ma-jig - I thought I'd tell ya about some of 'em. You don't mind, right?  Fantastic....

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Recommended for: people who enjoy improbable and spontaneous operatic singing, cannibalism, and heavy, heavy eye makeup.

Tim Burton+Johnny Depp+Stephen Sondheim=Right Up My Alley, so this was an obvious choice.  Although I wouldn't recommend it for people who blanketly claim to despise musicals, I would contend that Sweeney Todd makes the short list of "musicals for people who hate musicals."  Johnny Depp's vocals were surprisingly capable of the insanely difficult role, Burton's dark and dreary London was a perfect backdrop, and the boy who played Toby was amazing.  Sure, there were moments that fell a bit flat (Depp's rendition of "My Friends" immediately comes to mind), but it was a highly enjoyable movie, albeit not for the squeamish.

My Grade: B+

Atonement

Recommended for: fans of The Great Gatsby, people who like gorgeous, sweeping and epic period pieces, and those who find Keira Knightley and James McAvoy terribly attractive (i.e. - people who aren't blind). 

Although I didn't love Atonement, I did like it quite a bit.  I couldn't help but compare this to Pride and Prejudice and in the shadow of that film Atonement felt like it had a bit less chemistry and heart, but it was excellent even still.  I don't particularly want to see it win Best Picture, but Joe Wright and Paul Webste sure do make some pretty movies together. (And by the way,  add the little girl who played Briony to the list of celebrities I'd like to fight.)

My Grade: A-

No Country for Old Men

Recommended for: fatalists, people who like don't mind the occasional bath in a pool of misery, and those who understand that some journeys don't always end the way we'd like them to.

I won't mince words, No Country... is a hard movie to watch.  It's violent, slow, and terribly oppressive; however, it's also very, very good.  Javier Bardem scared the living bejeezus out of me (which isn't an easy thing to do), I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and unlike the book, the film contained moments of unexpected humor.  Which was nice.  Kept me from slitting my wrists.  

My Grade: A

There Will Be Blood

Recommended for: fans of P.T. Anderson, Upton Sinclair, and scenes that start out funny but then take a terrible, terrible turn.

I'll just come out and say it - There Will Be Blood was brilliant. I saw it three days ago, and I still cannot get it out of my head.  Daniel Day-Lewis was predictably incredible, but Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine) blew me away.  It was perfectly directed, the soundtrack thoroughly nerve-wracking, and the final act was equal parts terrifying, comical and bizarre.  I loved it.

My Grade: A+

And a Bonus DVD Rental Thrown in at the Last Minute For Kicks: Waitress

Recommended for: people who enjoy sweetness, light, and pies.

Everyone said I should see Waitress, but I kept ignoring them because it looked like such a easily dismissible romantic comedy, and I'm not generally drawn to that sort of thing.  Fortunately, I ignored my stubborn resistance and just rented it already, and I'm so glad I did because I absolutely adored this movie. In fact, it even made me break one of my New Year's Resolutions! (No, not the one about murdering people. The one about crying, silly.) If you haven't seen it yet, you really, really should.

My Grade: A

And tomorrow...Cloverfield.  Oh yes. It's on.

leci n'est pas une nerd

One week down; 40 something more to go.

Not that it's been a bad week, mind you. A bit tiring perhaps, but my kids seem to be a significant improvement over last year's bunch. (Or, at least I'm not saving up for a bullet proof vest and contemplating the necessity of regular tetanus shots. Yet.) But who can really tell this early in the game, you know? And when it comes down to it, we're still trying to figure each other out. Realizing this, I've been intentionally fluctuating between humorless, abrasive, motherly, and *ahem* comical, because this early in the game I find it important (and not to mention fun) to keep them guessing.

What I'm pretty sure they've figured out by now, however, is that although I might be other things too, one thing that I most definitely am is a great big nerd. Case in point, over the course of the past four days I've referenced The Transformers, organic chemistry, Stephen Hawking's theory of time travel via wormholes, Severus Snape (multiple times, that one) and actually told a 'joke' ending with "and that's why a solid grasp of correct semicolon usage will help improve your love life." So see, it's hopeless. I'm a nerd.

And in keeping with that theme, here's some other nerdy things I've been enjoying these past few days:

Nerdy Books: I Love You, Beth Cooper (by Larry Doyle of The Simpson's fame) is one of the funniest books I've read in some time. The protagonist, Denis Cooverman, is a newly graduated high school valedictorian whose obsessively pathetic admiration of the beautiful head cheerleader leads to all sorts of humiliations, shenanigans and a myriad of both physical and emotional injuries. It's sweet, goofy, often sarcastic, awesomely references numerous nerds to have graced the silver screen, made me chuckle several times, laugh out loud at least three, and can easily be managed in a few hours. Consider it, yes?

Nerdy Fashion: Threadless had a sale last weekend so I stocked up, and one of my purchases has easily become the nerdiest thing I own, fashionistically speaking. See:


(And if you get the joke without having to consult either the Internet or your closest expert on Belgian surrealism, then guess what...you're a nerd too! But a cool nerd. One who I'd expedite to a space in my MyFace top eight, even.)

History-Rich Websites about the connections between religion and war and leadership and war (I expected Republicans to be the war mongers. Turns out, not so much. Huh.)

and Documentary Film: God Grew Tired of Us shows the stories of four of Sudan's "lost boys" - refugees from the 1992 genocide who all fled their homeland on foot as small children, raised themselves and one another in squalor, and were then brought to America as young adults. Their stories are terribly sad yet triumphant, and watching them try to maneuver modern conveniences like toilets, pre-packaged butter, grocery stores and shaving cream is both funny, sweet and humbling.

And to bring this all full-circle, the genocide in Sudan reminds me of last year's 9th graders (and not in the hyperbolic sense you may think). One kid, after studying the genocide, actually raised her hand during a class discussion and said, "People think Detroit is a bad place to be. However, when you really think about it, Sudan is much, much worse than Detroit." (I can remember this four months later because it so struck me that I jotted it down on a post-it note, which I discovered in my desk yesterday.) Yes, so have I mentioned recently that I'm glad last year is over? Because I am.

And with that, let's toast. To nerds!

today's letter is "M," as in monsters. or music. or movies. or mugs. or meandering posts.

So, how's things? Good? Enjoying your Tuesday? Yes? Aww, that's just super. So, I don't really have anything in the way of interesting personal anecdotes, bizarre but true neighbor run-ins, or even mildly amusing fictions that I might attempt to pass off as fact, so instead take these links and whatnot. Please and thanks, my lovely lovelies...

Proving once again that only the good die young, it came as a terrible blow to hear that after 28 years of bravely reporting the stories that others feared to touch, this will be the very last installment of The Weekly World News. Where now will the world turn for periodic Bat Boy updates, blurry pictures of the Virgin Mary in someone's pancake, and headlines such as "Hillary Clinton Adopts Alien Baby" and "Crazed Dieter Mistakes Dwarf For Chicken?" Fox & Friends, I guess...

Speaking of Dick Cheney, here's yet more speculation on what the monster might be (or might not be) in 1-18-08. Apparently, it's not Voltron, and "much of the movie will revolve around the characters fleeing for their lives, not from the big one stomping the city, but from the 'raptor-like' smaller versions hunting them down." Suffice it to say, I'm excited.

I'm also more than a little excited about several new music releases this week (The New Pornographers, Rilo Kiley and Over the Rhine - oh my!), but more than a little deflated since nary a one of them is available on emusic....yet. Unfortunately, I'm nothing if not impatient when I spy something I want, so Steve Jobs will probably be seeing more of my money...soon.

One of my favorite bloggers penned a review of The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters that made me equal parts relieved that the video gamer documentary sounds as good as I hoped it would be and frustrated that it's apparently not going to run anywhere near me any time soon. I know Detroit's not exactly New York, but it's not exactly Muncie either. Throw a girl a bone.

And while I've got you here, wanna see what happens if you were to put a dry tea bag in an empty mug inside a microwave set for two minutes on "high"?


Cute, huh? Of course, you'll have to imagine the smell, leaping flames and me running bewildered and terrified full-speed towards my kitchen for yourself, which I trust you - being the intelligent, imaginative person you are - can very well do. And while you're at it, picture me devastatingly beautiful, well-coiffed hair blowing in a mysterious indoor breeze, as I risk life and limb to rescue several orphans and a basket of puppies from said flaming mug, 'kay?

Because that's exactly how it happened.

Exactly.