Monday, January 23, 2006
are you there, former selves? it's me, margaret.
I’m shamelessly ripping this off from Steve. I don’t know who he shamelessly ripped off. Perhaps no one. Perhaps he's just that original. So here we go…

3 Do's for my 10 year-old-self:
1. Do tone it down a bit. Kid, you’re kind of loud and high-strung and,
frankly, a bit much most of the time. (Please, stop crying!)

2. Do change the channel when that summer camp, slasher film begins
on HBO. I know you think you’re tough, but that scene when the guy is
hiding under the bed with the axe will provide you with nightmare
material for the rest of your life. Seriously, never again will you be able
to dangle your arm or leg over the side of your bed without fear, so turn
the tv off and go to bed already; you're ten.

3. Do reevaluate your hair. I know that all your friends are using a whole
bunch of hairspray to create a look with their bangs inspired by
Jersey girls who hang out at the mall, but not all trends need to be
followed. Especially this one.

3 Don’ts for my 16-year-old self:
1. Don’t give that letter to Matt Shear. It will bring you nothing but
embarrassment, and despite his flirtatious grin, he's not that into you;
he’s interested in that incredibly tall blonde chick with the perfect skin.
And since we’re on the subject, stop letting him cheat off you on tests.
Trust me, he’s a really huge geek and probably only writes poems on the
cover of his binders to win over and manipulate girls like you.

2. Don’t give yourself another haircut. Really, it’s not all that expensive to
leave it to the professionals. Granted, it’s pretty amazing that you can
somehow manage to cut the back of your own head of hair relatively
straightly, but it’s a bit weird. Stop it.

3. Don’t be so afraid to try some new things. Take creative writing, art
class, broadcasting, try out for the volleyball team, a school play – you
know you want to, and who cares if you aren’t any good. You don’t
always have to be the best at everything and you won’t have
opportunities like this again.

2 Do's and 2 Don’ts for my 20-year-old self:
1. Do get off your butt and change your eating habits. You’re going to gain
some lbs soon due to all that dorm food, and it’s going to be a pain in your
flabby booty to loose them.

2. Do more than consider studying abroad. Nathan and the rest of your
friends will still be there when you get back, and when will you have an
opportunity like this again?

3. Don’t let those crazy university counselors convince you to choose earth
science as a minor. You hate science, remember? And who really cares
what the difference is between an igneous and a sedimentary rock?
Besides, you won’t have any problems getting a job when you graduate,
so minor in something you actually care about - preferably something
that won’t require grading essays when you get a teaching job.

4. Don’t agree to live with people who you don’t really know. Most of them
will turn out to be mean, thieves, suicidal or bi-polar, and who needs that?


2 Comments:

Blogger Steve said...

"Perhaps he's just that original"? You've found my complement wheelhouse already, and you hardly know me. Impressive.

So does this mean that 35-Year-Old Maggie is going to be disappointed in Present Day Maggie's hair? Because I think I see a pattern here...

Blogger MAW said...

Are you kidding? Present-day Maggie is disappointed in yesterday-Maggie's hair. And clearly, I've gone a bit batty since I've referred to myself in the third person. Twice.

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