Wednesday, March 12, 2008
statements that, if i weren't so very professional, i'd attempt to sneak into converation during tomorrow night's parent teacher conferences:
  • I find that actually reading my students' essays takes far too much time, so I've taken to assigning grades based on how far each flies when I chuck a stack of them across the room.
  • However, this was all before I was stripped of my teaching certificate.
  • It seems that your child doesn't respond as well to corporal punishment as the rest.
  • I've found that Breakdance Fridays have really improved standardized test scores.
  • Unfortunately, my current journey through sexual reassignment means I've had to be out of the classroom quite a bit this year.
  • Would you believe that I never actually learned to read?
  • Does this look infected to you?
  • Sorry. I seem to be having a difficult time focusing on what you're saying, seeing how I'm so very drunk at the moment.
  • You do realize that none of this actually matters what with the rapidly approaching apocalypse, right?
  • Can you tell that I'm not wearing a bra right now?
  • It's just terribly hard for me to concentrate with all these voices in my head!

You know, for fun!

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Blogger Mary said...

HAHAHAHA! Bonus points for you if you actually sneak one of those comments in!
Your post reminds me of meeting bingo.

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