Thursday, March 06, 2008
silver linings and such
In reference to my previous post, the weather yesterday morning was absosmurfly brutal. I knew it was coming so braced myself for the worst, but all the while still hoped for the best: a snow day, which have been bizarrely rare during this particularly soul-crushing winter. So, when I awoke to discover that the 5-8 inches DID fall, that all that moisture DID freeze, that the roads ARE the worst they've been all winter, yet school is NOT canceled, I sort of lost it.

(Actually, I cried a little bit. But let's just keep that between us two, yes? It's embarrassing.)

But being the optimist that I generally am, I tried my best to spend my 90 minute-long, white-knuckled drive through a fierce winter storm with teary-eyes and nerves shot to shit looking for the silver linings in my current situation.

As it turns out, these were the silver linings in my current situation:

1. It could have been a 91 minute-long drive, which would have made everything precisely %0.01111111 worse.

2. Rather than driving through all that snow, I could have been buried in it. When I was about ten-years-old I read this book about a kid who set off a avalanche while skiing down a Colorado mountain, and then got trapped for days in said avalanche. From what I recall, the kid spent that time drinking melted snow, getting frostbite, going a bit wonky in the head, and being really, really cold. I think I'll pass.

3. Yes, my nerves were shot to shit, but what if I didn't have any nerves at all? I imagine I'd spend my days burning my esophagus with scalding-hot liquids, laying my palms flat down on poker-hot stove tops, and perpetually playing that game where you swiftly and repeatedly stab a knife through the spaces of your splayed fingers just to show off. Of course it would be fun, however so very unwise.

4. Similar to #3, rather than driving with white knuckles what if I didn't have knuckles? Think about it - how horrid! Nothing to crack, no ability to grip or punch...and pointing out blame? Entirely out of the question. *Shudder!*

5. Instead of driving in snowy winter, I could be driving through a nuclear winter. Admittedly, my knowledge of the possible scenario is limited, however I'm pretty sure it involves a whole lotta dust, very little sunlight, and sudden infestation of radioactive zombies. I'll take the snow, thanks!

6. And finally, I could be this lady. In any situation. Ever.

And that's the best I could do until the commute ran out. Sounds like another beastie of a storm is lying in wait and due to hit tomorrow, though, so I just may get a chance to add to the list very soon.




Blogger Carrie said...

Barf. You totally win. I will try to keep all my weather based bitching in context.

Blogger Mrs. White said...

Oh, it's alright. After all, this competition only bears losers. :)

Blogger Gregg said...

I'm sorry you didn't get your snow day, Mrs. White.

But if you would have gotten it, then you wouldn't have written No. 4, and I would have had one less laugh in my Thursday.

So I guess things worked out OK.

Well, you know...for me. :O)

(Think. Spring.)

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