random words, phrases and clauses that i'm trying to sneak into tomorrow night's "meet the parents!" open house speech...

...because 1), they may not notice, seeing as my public speaking voice tends to lean towards the snap-fire, verbose, and slightly lilting, and 2), I'd find it amusing:

buggery
my sister wives
...which I studied while serving my second prison term
masticated
By the hammer of Thor!
my discipline stick
...where I taught occlumency, potions, and defense against the dark arts
chocolate rain
meerkat
frak
...because poetry is just another way to rap
crunk
...protecting my precious Thetan from Xenu and the aftereffects of his Galactic Confederacy
my expansive machete collection
futuresexlovesounds
...since the moon landing is so clearly a hoax
...because teaching with a hangover ain't easy
kumquat

Of course, this is probably a very, very bad idea after all, isn't it?