Happy “coming out of the closet” day!
Our deepest sympathies upon hearing of your recent mugging/firing/arrest/home invasion/failed drug test.
Sorry to have borrowed, then crashed your brand new car.
which would be purchased along with:
My sincerest apologies for making that sudden left turn in front of you, effectively totaling your car while mine escaped damaged, yet reparable.
Thank you for un-grounding your son just long enough for him to escort me to the prom, since I bought a fairly expensive dress, got my hair all did, and there’s simply no one else available to take me ‘cept my twelve-year-old brother (and he already said no).
Congratulations on graduating! Eventually!
Our deepest apologies for the recent bite you endured, inflicted by our dog. Perhaps she did not break the skin, however we are both terribly embarrassed and deeply appreciative for your understanding/failure to sue.
Aww, shucks. Kids can be terribly cruel, can’t they? But you know what? I, a person with absolutely exquisite taste, happen to think you’re awesome. Yay you!
Sorry for dissin’ you on the Internet. My mama totally taught me better than that.
Thank you for un-grounding your son just long enough for him to escort me to the prom, since I bought a fairly expensive dress, got my hair all did, and there’s simply no one else available to take me ‘cept my twelve-year-old brother (and he already said no).
Congratulations on graduating! Eventually!
Our deepest apologies for the recent bite you endured, inflicted by our dog. Perhaps she did not break the skin, however we are both terribly embarrassed and deeply appreciative for your understanding/failure to sue.
Aww, shucks. Kids can be terribly cruel, can’t they? But you know what? I, a person with absolutely exquisite taste, happen to think you’re awesome. Yay you!
Sorry for dissin’ you on the Internet. My mama totally taught me better than that.
4 Comments:
Sorry about your impending divorce. Or congratulations?
Although I really don't think you're fit to have another child, congrats on the little bugger anyway!
You may not remember me, but we hooked up a while back, and I've recently been diagnosed with an STD. Perhaps you should get yourself checked out.
(People who I work with would actually find the above card quite useful.)
How about:
I love you, but it takes a certain type of person to pull of a mustache.
We were so sorry to see those compromising pictures of you online.
and
Hey, on the bright side, you can buy nicer shoes now.
I toootally could have used that "sorry about the compromising online photos" one a few years back.
(To clarify - it would be for a friend, of course. Not for me.)
http://www.someecards.com
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