I'm still working up the energy for that proper back-from-Italy post I promised you (and it is coming, whether you want it or not), but until then, here's the top ten reasons why Europe is a wonderful place to visit but I just don't think I could live there:
10. Television
I admit that judging all of European television programing based on what I caught piecemeal while in my hotel room isn't exactly a fair tool for comparison, and though it's intriguing that you can usually catch some form of nudity pretty much any time over there, plus watching The Simpsons and Zoolander in Italian does have its funny little charms, however I was surprised at how much I missed watching reruns of Law and Order, HBO (even in the summer time) and all manifestations of competitive, reality-based cooking shows. And this is coming from a woman who barely watches tv anymore.
9. Music
Again, in the same way that American radio sucks a big one, I'm sure that European radio isn't the best tool to judge their musical tastes, however...really? It's like a 1984 revival over there. People are still sincerely listening to Toto and making god-awful, disco covers of The Smiths' "Bigmouth Strikes Again." I'll reserve judgement about that first one since I sheepishly admit that "Africa" is on on my iPod, but that second one should be a crime punishable by death. (Or at least a good flogging.)
8. Water
My hair felt funny all week. And not ha-ha funny.
7. Breakfast
I usually don't eat breakfast, however I reached a point around day five when I would have killed for some bacon and eggs. A girl can only take so much crusty bread and dry crackers before she becomes a bit of a cranky pants.
6. Space
Whether it be the size of hotel rooms, bathrooms, street widths, bed widths or dinner proportions everything's a bit small there. But I do have some claustrophobia issues and am a spoiled, gluttonous American most days...
5. Meat
Pasta's nice, but not twice a day every day. I've never been a big meat eater, but boy oh boy how I missed big pieces of processed animal parts.
4. Enforcement of traffic laws
It's surprising how much I appreciated American traffic cops, but I did. Did you know they don't even have lane lines on the streets in Rome? It's like Tunderdome, man. Kill or be killed.
3. Ridiculously big cups of watered-down American coffee
Espresso sucks at 7 am. There. I said it.
2. Being able to easily recognize the difference between a female prostitute and a Brazilian transexual
Distinctions are fuzzy in Italy, although I think I got the hang of it eventually. And yes, there's a story here. If you're lucky I might just tell it to you sometime.
1. And finally, You
Yep, I missed you. And I ain't afraid to admit it - not even a little bit. I sure do hope you missed me too.
10. Television
I admit that judging all of European television programing based on what I caught piecemeal while in my hotel room isn't exactly a fair tool for comparison, and though it's intriguing that you can usually catch some form of nudity pretty much any time over there, plus watching The Simpsons and Zoolander in Italian does have its funny little charms, however I was surprised at how much I missed watching reruns of Law and Order, HBO (even in the summer time) and all manifestations of competitive, reality-based cooking shows. And this is coming from a woman who barely watches tv anymore.
9. Music
Again, in the same way that American radio sucks a big one, I'm sure that European radio isn't the best tool to judge their musical tastes, however...really? It's like a 1984 revival over there. People are still sincerely listening to Toto and making god-awful, disco covers of The Smiths' "Bigmouth Strikes Again." I'll reserve judgement about that first one since I sheepishly admit that "Africa" is on on my iPod, but that second one should be a crime punishable by death. (Or at least a good flogging.)
8. Water
My hair felt funny all week. And not ha-ha funny.
7. Breakfast
I usually don't eat breakfast, however I reached a point around day five when I would have killed for some bacon and eggs. A girl can only take so much crusty bread and dry crackers before she becomes a bit of a cranky pants.
6. Space
Whether it be the size of hotel rooms, bathrooms, street widths, bed widths or dinner proportions everything's a bit small there. But I do have some claustrophobia issues and am a spoiled, gluttonous American most days...
5. Meat
Pasta's nice, but not twice a day every day. I've never been a big meat eater, but boy oh boy how I missed big pieces of processed animal parts.
4. Enforcement of traffic laws
It's surprising how much I appreciated American traffic cops, but I did. Did you know they don't even have lane lines on the streets in Rome? It's like Tunderdome, man. Kill or be killed.
3. Ridiculously big cups of watered-down American coffee
Espresso sucks at 7 am. There. I said it.
2. Being able to easily recognize the difference between a female prostitute and a Brazilian transexual
Distinctions are fuzzy in Italy, although I think I got the hang of it eventually. And yes, there's a story here. If you're lucky I might just tell it to you sometime.
1. And finally, You
Yep, I missed you. And I ain't afraid to admit it - not even a little bit. I sure do hope you missed me too.
Labels: america the beautiful, brazilian transexuals, lists
3 Comments:
I missed you too! Seriously, it reached a point like Saturday where I was like, "Ok, this is cute guys- you've been gone a while. But enough already! Get back here!".
We missed something else: toilet seats. M-I-L
Agreed. :)
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