2007: midterm report: 10 television moments that were always eager to participate/prepared for class
I’ve got some time on my hands now, so what the heck, let’s give this thing another shot. Discussing television is a bit of a challenge for me seeing as I don’t really watch much of it as of recent (hence, several shows are getting represented more than once) and much of the space in my long-term memory seems to be taken up with song lyrics and quotes from cult movies, so I often forget the fine details of what I do watch. In short, I’m sure there’s plenty to criticize in my little list so go right on ahead, but be nice about it and remember - I’m a sensitive, delicate little flower. A delicate little flower who can break down doors with one swift hip check and could most likely hold her own in a street fight, but a flower nonetheless.
#10: The Amazing Race All Stars: "Low to the Ground, That's my Technique": Charla and Mirna lose.
I know. Choosing this moment is more about me being vindictive than it is about interesting television, but I just hate those whiny, passive-aggressive, oddly accented, a not-nice word that rhymes with witches so much. Overall, this season was only so-so, the finale was downright meh, I hardly remember which team won, and frankly I don't really care so long as Mirna and Shmirna didn't. And since lose they did, I can once again be confident that God's in heaven and all's right with the world...
#9: Survivor Fiji: "I Wanna See if I Can Make a Deal": Yau Man rivals Richard Hatch as one of the smartest competitors to play the game.
Who would have suspected that such a scrawny, old, goofy looking little dude would be such a beast! Smart, wily, likeable and with surprising athleticism Yau Man was always the little underdog who could, but this was the episode when he stole my heart. First, he spanks the big and buff Dreamz in a physical challenge to win the car he knew he was desperate for, then turns around and uses it as a bargaining tool, offering him the car in exchange for a promise of Final Four immunity. As if that wasn't enough, he then politically offers to send himself to Exile Island rather than send anyone else, and tops it all off at tribal council when he plays the hidden immunity idol at precisely the right time to save himself. So maybe he didn't win the million, but for all of this Yau Man scored himself a place on my "if the opportunity were to present itself Nate has given me permission" list, and some might consider that a prize in and of itself.
#8: Tracy Morgan is drunk on live tv and I, once again, thank God for YouTube.
I know you’ve seen this already, but just do yourself a favor and watch it again.
“I don’t have what LL got. I don’t got biscuits, I got a loaf of bread.”
#7: Heroes: “Five Years Gone”: It’s the end of the world as we know it and everyone has awesome hair.
A trip into a dystopian future reveals that the bomb went off and, consequently, shit is messed up, but Peter’s totally hot and sporting a superbadass scar, Nathan is the president and sketchy as hell, Niki finally begins to have some sort of purpose and connection to everyone else (sort of ), and future Hiro is such a super stud that he’s scary to his present-day self. It’s good stuff, I say.
#6 30 Rock: “The Source Awards”: Shooting people at the Source Awards is a tradition. Like Christmas.
If this show ever gets cancelled, you'll find me going through the classic stages of grief : fear, denial, horniness, wisdom, sleepiness, and then depression.
#5 Lost: “Through the Looking Glass”: Charlie dies a good death.
Funny thing, I spent the better part of the last two seasons wondering when they were going to kill this whiny cat off already, but when it finally happened I was a bit sad to see the little monkey go. Fortunately, his death had purpose, he not only took it like a man but essentially sacrificed himself for the common good, and even the sharpie made sense. Plus, this is the episode when Locke is resurrected (told you he’d be fine!) and Jack has a pretty intriguing flash forward leading me to hypothesize that in the future Kate’s with Sawyer and Locke is the man whose funeral no one bothered to attend. But that’s what you get for threatening to shoot your friends in an attempt to try and stop a call that would allow them to get the heck off of that crappy island, I guess!
#4 The Office: "Product Recall": Who wouldn't want their prom invitation to have a watermark of a duck giving it to a mouse?
I'm not sure what was funnier, Angela's attempts at damage control, Andy's discovery that his "girlfriend" is a high school student, Jim's impression of Dwight, Dwight's impression of Jim, or Creed, who although responsible for sending out the paper with the obscene watermark somehow manages to squirrel his way out of trouble, blames it on some poor lady at the paper mill who loses her job for his mistake, and then tosses her farewell card, pocketing the money the employees collected for her. No, you're right. Creed's funnier.
#3 The Sopranos: "Heidi and Kennedy": So long, Chrissy, and thanks for all the peyote.
There were so many great episodes in the second half of the 6th and final season and I had a really hard time choosing between them, but this one ultimately wins a nod for one reason: Christopher's death. In retrospect I can see it was bound to happen, but this scene pretty much took me entirely off guard when I saw it for the first time. The moment when Tony opts to kill his nephew rather than call 911 is intense enough, but the way he spends the rest of the episode trying to convince everyone that Christopher's death is a good thing is engaging television if I've ever seen it.
(And not to beat a dead horse, but to all the tv-o-philes over at Pajiba and TVwoP I've given the finale over a week to digest, watched it twice, don't necessarily have a problem with how it ended exactly, but I still find it to be a mediocre episode. Yet, somehow I possess the mental faculties necessary to tie my own shoes. I know, I was surprised too. Someone contact Guinness.)
#2 Lost: "The Man Behind the Curtain": And somehow, things get even weirder than any of us thought possible.
Ben and Locke, two men with serious daddy issues, travel together through the heart of darkness to meet the man behind the curtain, Jacob, who turns out to be…a specter? a disembodied voice? a talking shrimp? We can’t really be sure, but he’s definitely not just a figment of Ben’s imagination and that makes me happy. Plus, it’s revealed that Ben is one scary dude who is not only willing to shoot Locke and leave him for dead in a creepy, skeleton-filled mass grave, but has no qualms with gassing an entire hippie community. Deliciously evil, I say!
#1 30 Rock: “Fireworks”: Will Arnett is a warlock! He came to entrance me!
I think I've watched this episode over 15 times, and it never ceases to make me giggle like a silly little fool, and because I like to giggle like a silly little fool I’m awarding it top honors.
(And if that don't make you smile, than I'm all out of ideas.)
#10: The Amazing Race All Stars: "Low to the Ground, That's my Technique": Charla and Mirna lose.
I know. Choosing this moment is more about me being vindictive than it is about interesting television, but I just hate those whiny, passive-aggressive, oddly accented, a not-nice word that rhymes with witches so much. Overall, this season was only so-so, the finale was downright meh, I hardly remember which team won, and frankly I don't really care so long as Mirna and Shmirna didn't. And since lose they did, I can once again be confident that God's in heaven and all's right with the world...
#9: Survivor Fiji: "I Wanna See if I Can Make a Deal": Yau Man rivals Richard Hatch as one of the smartest competitors to play the game.
Who would have suspected that such a scrawny, old, goofy looking little dude would be such a beast! Smart, wily, likeable and with surprising athleticism Yau Man was always the little underdog who could, but this was the episode when he stole my heart. First, he spanks the big and buff Dreamz in a physical challenge to win the car he knew he was desperate for, then turns around and uses it as a bargaining tool, offering him the car in exchange for a promise of Final Four immunity. As if that wasn't enough, he then politically offers to send himself to Exile Island rather than send anyone else, and tops it all off at tribal council when he plays the hidden immunity idol at precisely the right time to save himself. So maybe he didn't win the million, but for all of this Yau Man scored himself a place on my "if the opportunity were to present itself Nate has given me permission" list, and some might consider that a prize in and of itself.
#8: Tracy Morgan is drunk on live tv and I, once again, thank God for YouTube.
I know you’ve seen this already, but just do yourself a favor and watch it again.
“I don’t have what LL got. I don’t got biscuits, I got a loaf of bread.”
#7: Heroes: “Five Years Gone”: It’s the end of the world as we know it and everyone has awesome hair.
A trip into a dystopian future reveals that the bomb went off and, consequently, shit is messed up, but Peter’s totally hot and sporting a superbadass scar, Nathan is the president and sketchy as hell, Niki finally begins to have some sort of purpose and connection to everyone else (sort of ), and future Hiro is such a super stud that he’s scary to his present-day self. It’s good stuff, I say.
#6 30 Rock: “The Source Awards”: Shooting people at the Source Awards is a tradition. Like Christmas.
If this show ever gets cancelled, you'll find me going through the classic stages of grief : fear, denial, horniness, wisdom, sleepiness, and then depression.
#5 Lost: “Through the Looking Glass”: Charlie dies a good death.
Funny thing, I spent the better part of the last two seasons wondering when they were going to kill this whiny cat off already, but when it finally happened I was a bit sad to see the little monkey go. Fortunately, his death had purpose, he not only took it like a man but essentially sacrificed himself for the common good, and even the sharpie made sense. Plus, this is the episode when Locke is resurrected (told you he’d be fine!) and Jack has a pretty intriguing flash forward leading me to hypothesize that in the future Kate’s with Sawyer and Locke is the man whose funeral no one bothered to attend. But that’s what you get for threatening to shoot your friends in an attempt to try and stop a call that would allow them to get the heck off of that crappy island, I guess!
#4 The Office: "Product Recall": Who wouldn't want their prom invitation to have a watermark of a duck giving it to a mouse?
I'm not sure what was funnier, Angela's attempts at damage control, Andy's discovery that his "girlfriend" is a high school student, Jim's impression of Dwight, Dwight's impression of Jim, or Creed, who although responsible for sending out the paper with the obscene watermark somehow manages to squirrel his way out of trouble, blames it on some poor lady at the paper mill who loses her job for his mistake, and then tosses her farewell card, pocketing the money the employees collected for her. No, you're right. Creed's funnier.
#3 The Sopranos: "Heidi and Kennedy": So long, Chrissy, and thanks for all the peyote.
There were so many great episodes in the second half of the 6th and final season and I had a really hard time choosing between them, but this one ultimately wins a nod for one reason: Christopher's death. In retrospect I can see it was bound to happen, but this scene pretty much took me entirely off guard when I saw it for the first time. The moment when Tony opts to kill his nephew rather than call 911 is intense enough, but the way he spends the rest of the episode trying to convince everyone that Christopher's death is a good thing is engaging television if I've ever seen it.
(And not to beat a dead horse, but to all the tv-o-philes over at Pajiba and TVwoP I've given the finale over a week to digest, watched it twice, don't necessarily have a problem with how it ended exactly, but I still find it to be a mediocre episode. Yet, somehow I possess the mental faculties necessary to tie my own shoes. I know, I was surprised too. Someone contact Guinness.)
#2 Lost: "The Man Behind the Curtain": And somehow, things get even weirder than any of us thought possible.
Ben and Locke, two men with serious daddy issues, travel together through the heart of darkness to meet the man behind the curtain, Jacob, who turns out to be…a specter? a disembodied voice? a talking shrimp? We can’t really be sure, but he’s definitely not just a figment of Ben’s imagination and that makes me happy. Plus, it’s revealed that Ben is one scary dude who is not only willing to shoot Locke and leave him for dead in a creepy, skeleton-filled mass grave, but has no qualms with gassing an entire hippie community. Deliciously evil, I say!
#1 30 Rock: “Fireworks”: Will Arnett is a warlock! He came to entrance me!
I think I've watched this episode over 15 times, and it never ceases to make me giggle like a silly little fool, and because I like to giggle like a silly little fool I’m awarding it top honors.
(And if that don't make you smile, than I'm all out of ideas.)
Labels: battlestar galactica, bears, beets, lists, television
1 Comments:
Nice list, my dearie! I agree with much of it. The only gripes I would have are for leaving out shows you really don't watch, but you explained that already, so I'll just call you a silly little monkey for not watching them and how can you not watch TV every waking second you're not working? ;)
I especially like your thoughts on the season finale of Lost. Charlie's death still strikes quite a chord with me- especially his last minute sign of the cross. I guess I have a thing for reformed Catholic bad boys.
(And nice shout-out to the hip-check. You're still my hero for that. Well, you saved me from emergency locksmith bills and a talking to from Paul. Which is a lot, actually.)
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