a on the streets of west philadelphia story

I'll be heading to Philadelphia in a few short hours to chaperone a school field trip, and frankly, I'm feeling a bit underwhelmed about the whole thing. Ordinarily I'd be excited to head to a new city and it's not that I'm not interested in how they do things over in Philly exactly, but I'm beginning to realize that the only real "vacations" I seem to take anymore are not only work-related, but usually involve traveling with no fewer than 30 teenagers in tow. As you might imagine, I'm starting to get a bit antsy for a trip that doesn't involve bed checks and curfews and sobriety (the latter especially).

But it is what it is I suppose, so in an attempt to pump myself up for Amish country and Gettysburg and the Betsy Ross House I'm going to shamelessly rip off a fellow blogger and say, hey - here's to hoping that while taking the guided tour of Philadelphia I may also find time to:

• provide protection to a shy Amish boy whose accidental witness to a murder endangers his life and community and general way of life, yet still somehow find the time to seduce his puritanical, yet sexy mother,
• simultaneously come to grips with my own prejudices and fight to convince the city of brotherly love of the injustice behind firing a sick, homosexual lawyer simply because he has AIDS,
• help a nervous, whiny little boy who sees dead people despite the fact that I am, myself, one of the deceased,
• bemoan the fact that I could have been a contender,
• get a job as a nighttime shopping mall security guard and then, either due to boredom, magic or insanity, come to the conclusion that one of the mannequins is actually a living, breathing Kim Catrall and then promptly fall in love with her… err…it,
• use time travel to bounce back-and-forth between a post-apocalyptic present and the pre-infection past in the hopes that I can stop a viral outbreak before it wreaks its havoc on the planet, while a rambling and twitchy Brad Pitt proves only to be a highly entertaining red herring,
• move in with my rich auntie and uncle in Bel Aire after getting in a fight with a couple of guys who were up to no good and started making trouble in my neighborhood.
  

So, see? It won’t be so bad. At the very least, I’m betting I can waste some time conversing with my students about mutually engaging subjects such as Nintendo, Of Montreal, zombies, and Optimus Prime. Besides, it could be worse. I could be at school teaching my freshmen. (shiver.)

In closing, I know it's going to be difficult to us to be apart for so long, baby, but dry them tears. I'll be back Monday sometime or another in just enough time to turn 29. (double shiver.) And although for all practical purposes I will be without access to television, newspapers and the Internet until then my phone will still work, so do keep in touch my lovelies. Yes, do.