i am grumpy. i am furrowed. i am grey. i am sitting through a six hour professional development day.
I have writer’s block.
It is rather severe.
It mocks.
It is not as deep as a well, nor as wide as a church door, but it will serve.
My writing, she is blocked.
It is exacerbated by my attitude.
I have a very BAD attitude.
Today, I am critical and frustrated and annoyed.
I am bothered and tired and cold.
I am two hours into a six hour professional development day focusing on standardized test taking.
Understandably, it has made me grumpy and furrowed and grey.
We have just been asked to write a sentence with sensory details.
This I cannot do because, you see, my writing – it is blocked.
Other people do not have this problem.
One man just read his sentence.
It was dripping with adjectives and alliteration and Kerouac.
It burned, burned, burned as hipsters spun, spun, spun and angels glittered in the setting sun.
This sentence annoyed me very, very much.
But most annoying was the fact that I couldn’t write one at all.
The man sitting next to me is a CLOSE TALKER.
He is eating peppermint lifesavers and periodically leaning in, whispering quippy statements very, very close to my ear.
I am uncomfortable, yet thankful that he is eating peppermint lifesavers.
Because, you see, it could be worse.
But, nonetheless, I wish he would stop.
The Kerouac man has found a jump rope and is jumping with it in the corner.
I wonder if he is attempting to be BOYISH and CHARMING.
I find this neither BOYISH nor CHARMING.
I find it ANNOYING and BOTHERSOME.
Because, you see, I am feeling rather grumpy and furrowed and grey.
The little lady leading the meeting has just told me that our students should not be writing with first subject, then verb, then object, and NEVER EVER in five paragraph essays.
It is elementary, you see.
So, grumpy, furrowed and grey I am.
The little lady leading the next meeting will tell us that our students will fail the standardized test if they do not write first subject, then verb, then object, and MUST ALWAYS write in five paragraph essays.
So, I remain grumpy furrowed and grey.
But none of this really matters because I have writer’s block -
it burns, burns, burns as hipsters jump, jump, jump and five paragraph essays glitter in the setting sun –
and I also have a very BAD attitude under all this lip gloss.
It is rather severe.
It mocks.
It is not as deep as a well, nor as wide as a church door, but it will serve.
My writing, she is blocked.
It is exacerbated by my attitude.
I have a very BAD attitude.
Today, I am critical and frustrated and annoyed.
I am bothered and tired and cold.
I am two hours into a six hour professional development day focusing on standardized test taking.
Understandably, it has made me grumpy and furrowed and grey.
We have just been asked to write a sentence with sensory details.
This I cannot do because, you see, my writing – it is blocked.
Other people do not have this problem.
One man just read his sentence.
It was dripping with adjectives and alliteration and Kerouac.
It burned, burned, burned as hipsters spun, spun, spun and angels glittered in the setting sun.
This sentence annoyed me very, very much.
But most annoying was the fact that I couldn’t write one at all.
The man sitting next to me is a CLOSE TALKER.
He is eating peppermint lifesavers and periodically leaning in, whispering quippy statements very, very close to my ear.
I am uncomfortable, yet thankful that he is eating peppermint lifesavers.
Because, you see, it could be worse.
But, nonetheless, I wish he would stop.
The Kerouac man has found a jump rope and is jumping with it in the corner.
I wonder if he is attempting to be BOYISH and CHARMING.
I find this neither BOYISH nor CHARMING.
I find it ANNOYING and BOTHERSOME.
Because, you see, I am feeling rather grumpy and furrowed and grey.
The little lady leading the meeting has just told me that our students should not be writing with first subject, then verb, then object, and NEVER EVER in five paragraph essays.
It is elementary, you see.
So, grumpy, furrowed and grey I am.
The little lady leading the next meeting will tell us that our students will fail the standardized test if they do not write first subject, then verb, then object, and MUST ALWAYS write in five paragraph essays.
So, I remain grumpy furrowed and grey.
But none of this really matters because I have writer’s block -
it burns, burns, burns as hipsters jump, jump, jump and five paragraph essays glitter in the setting sun –
and I also have a very BAD attitude under all this lip gloss.
1 Comments:
LOL! What a perfect poem to commemorate our morning! (I agree that Mr. Kerouac was rather obnoxious.) And now I know what you were doing while you were supposed to be writing your 30 minute essay on dress codes: something much more artistic and worthwhile.
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