Wednesday, August 27, 2008
2+2=5
As of today I'm officially back to my daily drudgery for bread. (Otherwise known as "work.") But since I honestly do love my job, I suppose I'm mostly joking when I call it drudgery.

Mostly.

Although I feel like I'm far too young to say this, recently I can't help but wish that I could just shrug off all the politic administrative gobbeldigook and just be left alone to TEACH. And what really frustrates me is that I know I'm not supposed to be thinking these things on the first day. When I started teaching eight years back, the first day felt like a celebration. Sure, I was so young, so new, and so thrilled to have landed myself a job that I suppose I may have been viewing it all through rose-colored glasses, but even still - things just felt different. What used to feel positive and festive has somehow morphed into a pessimistic warning of some proverbial rain cloud lurking just over the horizon (aka: China). And although this year's opening day was no where near as negative as the previous two years' have been, it did take an odd turn for the Orwellian.

Observe:
  • My district is now calling itself a AAA district, which sounds pretty great, except I'm fairly certain that there's no such thing as a AAA district. I'm preeeetty sure we made it up. But we're AAA now. That's like an "A," but times three. Impressed?
  • My job title has been changed from "teacher" to "learning specialist." On the upside, they've assured me this new title is way fancier, thus greatly superior to my previous one. On the downside, it doesn't appear to come with a raise. I know. I looked.
And the kicker:
  • Our district no longer has "problems." Instead, we now have "probletunities," which are sort of like opportunities, but worse. I think.

So basically, our problems, er, "probletunities" were all linguistically based. We've changed the words, thus changed our realities. I'm no longer a teacher in a pretty nice district who occasionally faces problems. Instead, I'm now a learning specialist in a AAA district who gleefully embraces her probletunities!


And isn't that nice? I love Big Brother...

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6 Comments:

Blogger Bibliolatrist said...

Are we co-workers? Cause my school doesn't have problems, either. Isn't it wonderful to work in so perfect an atmosphere!?

Blogger Mary said...

Well that's just creepy.

Blogger Abs said...

I agree with Mary...clearly they never want you to get a job anywhere else, because can you imagine putting "learning specialist" on your resume, or having references at the school try to explain how good you are at meeting probletunities head on?
Maybe they are selling insurance on the side now.

I still can't believe how ridiculous it was - my eyes are still rolling! (And I'm also incredibly amused that we did both post on this, probably at about the same time!) Ah, the absurdities.

Blogger Gregg said...

ohmigod, you're serious, aren't you, Mrs. White?

I can't help it..."probletunities" is my new favorite word. (at least for a little while.)

That's hilarious. Someone in administration actually spent time coming up with that word!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps the key is to become Big Brother. At least, then, there is an opportunity for creativity. After all, who doesn't want to create new rhetoric to oppress the masses?

bk

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