Thursday, April 24, 2008
things i'm fairly certain cease to be cute immediately upon turning thirty (because it's gonna happen in 28 days whether i like it or not):
  • Pigtails
  • 95% of MTV's programming
  • Instant message speak, unless used ironically
  • Absolutely anything Hello Kitty, even if meant ironically


  • Hello Kitty tombstone? Not cute.





  • Jumping up and down and clapping one's hands with glee
  • Stripping to earn money for college/child care/retirement*
  • Not having a retirement plan
  • Techno music
  • Raves
  • Public Drunkenness
  • Hysterics
  • Sweatpants with suggestive words printed across the bum

  • Calling one's own butt juicy? So incredibly not cute.







  • Aimlessness
  • Flashing your rack at a NASCAR rally*
  • Bisexual experimentation*
  • Body glitter
  • Midriff tops
  • Tramp stamps*


  • Biblical quotes on your crack = whack.




  • Training to be a Justin Timberlake back-up dancer (esp. when the living room blinds are drawn and your entire neighborhood is getting the free show from your big picture window)
  • Angst
  • Tantrums
  • Freckles**

  • *Not that I have first-hand knowledge of this, mind you. I'm just saying what the good Lord loves to hear.

    **Shit.

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    4 Comments:

    Blogger Mary said...

    I happen to be 36 and still regularly hop up and down and clap my hands together with glee.

    Blogger Mrs. White said...

    Well, I'm certainly no expert on the subject. Yet. So, if you say it's still appropriate at thirty, then consider it struck from the list! (And good thing, that. I'm not sure I could avoid doing it at any age.)

    I'd say freckles are ALWAYS cute. I wish I had them on my face instead of my shoulders, though...

    Blogger Gregg said...

    I'm rather a fan of angst at any and every phase of one's life.

    Whether it's teen, or existential, or any other kind...there's always something to be angsty about.

    That, and it's a great word.

    Angst.

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