the crazy dog lady provides an unnecessarily detailed update about her child substitute (and you'll kindly listen because you're just nice like that)

As I mentioned yesterday Chloe had her vet appointment a few hours back, and although I usually try very hard not to be one of *those women* who go on about her pet as if it were a human, I promised several folks an update, so...I guess I'm the crazy pet lady today. It's okay. Been called worse.

In sum:

• We put her new collar on too tightly, didn't notice because she's so very fluffy, and by the time we realized what was going on - goodbye, fur; hello stinky, matted, red, itchy mess.
• If I were a stinky, matted, red, itchy mess I'd probably mope around, not eat, hide under tables, stare blankly off into space and steal my father's spot in bed for the unforeseeable future too.
• The vet shaved her neck, and it looks truly ghastly. I mean Sweeney Todd ghastly. When I first saw it I thought she was bleeding from the throat and I temporarily panicked ghastly.
• The vet (thankfully) said it's not infected.
• Our dog is currently on steroids.
• No, it's probably too early for 'roid rage; and yes, it is a silly question. Despite what your kindergarten teacher may have told you, some questions just are.
• Mental health-wise, she seems marginally better today. I've relayed all your nose kisses and butt scratches, and it seems to be working. Earlier this afternoon she actually sniffed at her bone as if she was mildly entertaining the thought of maybe playing with it sometime in the not too distant future!
• Seeing how her neck sort of looks like a zombie bite to me, *zombie dog!* has recently replaced the *Godzilla!* game. I cannot say it's been a smashing success, however these things take time.
• I feel like a bad, bad mom.
• After this, I wonder if they'll ever let me have actual children.
• On the brightside, when I do have actual children, I now know to be super careful not to put their new collars on too tightly! (Silver linings and such...)