Sunday, November 25, 2007
sunday confessional: thou shalt not hate (unless, of course, thou hast a really, really good reason)
A few days back, The Detroit News reported that the state of Michigan ranks third highest in the nation for hate crimes, and although some have pointed out that the way hate crimes are defined and reported from state to state unfairly paints Michigan in a poor light, 653 hate crimes in 2006 is still an unfortunately high and embarrassing number. Obviously, there's no good reason to humiliate and/or hurt someone, and it's unfortunate that so many people have such an easy time simplifying others to being little more than the stereotypes of our race, gender, age, religion and sexual preference. It's ignorance, pure and simple, and I'm embarrassed that apparently so much of it exists in my state.

However.

I would be lying if I said I didn't hate anyone and that there's never a good reason to do so. I despise violence of any sort, so I never think it's appropriate to react violently, however it would be a hypocritical of me to deny my own intolerances. Truth is, sometimes I find it perfectly prudent to hate someone else, and here are ten people (or sorts of people) who I will insist feelings of contempt are not only prudent, but appropriate.

1. People who follow traffic laws a bit too well
As everyone knows, certain stop signs are "stoptional" and speed limits are intended to be suggestions more than anything. Seriously, I got places to be and I'm most likely late, so let's pick up the pace already.

2. Cashiers who hand back your change placing coins on top of bills
Having been a cashier for several years, I can assure you that it takes absolutely no extra time to hand someone back her change first, bills second. If your cashier puts your change on top of the bills, she is being mean-spirited, probably hates her job, and is fully aware that she is unfairly taking her frustrations out on you.

3. Thomas Kinkade (the *ahem* artist, not the man)
I'm sure Kinkade is a nice enough guy, but damn him for trying to pass his assembly lined, mass-produced, uninspired Hallmark cards off as "art" while wearing a straight face. His work is utterly sanctimonious, and I hate each and every cobblestone, snow drift and warm glowing room.

4. Mitch Albom (the *ahem* writer as well as the man)
Having read them both, I can safely say that Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven are both trite, underwritten and terribly pretentious with no good reason for being so. Furthermore, I've been assured by a certain former bookseller I know that Albom is a total toolbox to anyone in the service industry, and that just ain't cool.

5. People who leave babies and pets inside their cars
If you need me to rationalize this one, than you're most likely evil and I just can't help you.

6. People who hold up the U-Scan lines at grocery stores by letting their children help scan their merchandise
I'm all for creating independent, capable and intelligent children, but not while I'm waiting in line behind you. Come on.

7. Ann Coulter
Honestly, I wish I didn't hate her because doing so is probably giving her exactly what she wants: attention. But still, how are you going to listen to someone say things like "We need to execute people... in order to physically intimidate liberals" and "We should invade their (Muslim) countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity" and not hate her, even if doing so is just feeding her already impressively large ego?


8. People who slip cilantro into my food, even after I specifically say NO CILANTRO!
Cilantro is a food item totally unrivaled in its awfulness, and to anyone who put it in my food, especially if I've requested that you not, well, you ruined my meal. That was mean.

9. People who put bumper stickers on their cars implying I lack any semblance of intelligence, patriotism, or common decency if I don't fully support both the war and my president
I see your Ad hominem and I will raise you one Glittering Generality, my illogical friend.

and finally,

10. Me, for being so downright cantankerous
Be nice, me. Most people are just doing the best they can. (All except the first nine examples, of course. Those people are horrid.)

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5 Comments:

I 100% agree with you on all but #10 (of course) and #8. Cilantro is a fabulous herb, and I don't know how many yummy Mexican foods would exist without it. Do you hate the texture, or the flavor?

Also, I knew a girl once who LOVED Kinkade's work. Never understood it. All of it belongs in some Disney princess scene, before she becomes the princess, of course.

Blogger PearLady said...

Okay, I have to ask: Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?? LOL!!

Actually, I agree with you on #8...that leafy little herb can stay away from my food, thank-you-very-much. :D (side fact: there's an internet community for it at ihatecilantro.com ; definitely worth a look *smile*)

Blogger Gregg said...

Loved the first line under your Ann Coulter entry. But you're right...it's impossible to not hate her.

And I wish I hadn't read the Albom entry, because I think he's a stellar sports columnist, and it's hard to hear of him being a jackass as a human being. (I would also add here that I've read his books, and rather enjoyed them, but that might leave me wide open for never-ending ridicule, so I think I'll just keep that point to myself.) :O)

Blogger Mrs. White said...

It's the taste of cilantro that I can't stand. Ruins everything it touches for me, and it's funny to hear that there's an entire internet community devoted to hating the herb. I'll have to join :)

Gregg, I know that I'm mostly in the minority on Mitch Albom, especially regarding his sports columns, and no one's going to think less of you for liking him. Living in the Detroit community, I hear stories about lots of Albom sittings (had one myself at the mall this weekend, in fact) and everyone reports that he's completely rude. In fact, it's my husband who worked at a bookstore, and whenever Albom came in to do book signings it was widely agreed upon by the staff that he was one of the authors people dread to work with since he's so rude and condescending. I know it's difficult to imagine since he comes across so sweetly in interviews, but...well, I guess it's largely for show, unfortunately.

Blogger Croaker said...

No you are totally right about Mitch Albom, and why do those people in the U-scan forget it is still 12 ITEMS or LESS. I hate that too.

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