There's this theory that my students are tossing around that my hair may be an indicator of my mood. You know, like how you slip on one of those silly plastic rings, it turns the strangest shade or greenish, yellowish blue and that's supposed to indicate that you're feeling happy, even if you aren't feeling particularly happy at all? Well, the little boogers seem to think that my hair is a giant mood ring that may give them early insight into my present state of mind, thus warning them before class even begins if my mood be foul or pleasant.
"No, stop!," you say? "Too silly to be true!," you say? Well, stop interrupting me and I'll continue on I say.
The theory originated on the first day of school. Ordinarily, all students are angels the first day. In particular the behavior of the freshmen, most of whom are just happy that they found your room without incident, is typically exemplary, largely owing to the fact that they are completely lost in their own heads for most of the day. While the teacher drones on about his or her class rules and paper heading requirements, all they are thinking about is whether or not they will be able to find their next classroom/locker/cafeteria/bus with minimal embarrassment. Thus, they are quiet as little, awkward church mice.
But not this year.
For a variety of reasons that I won't get into here, this year's freshman class as a whole appears to have been served extra helpings of immaturity. This was immediately evident on the first day of school when I had to struggle a bit to get them to sit down and shut up so I can tell them my all-important and thoroughly riveting 'class rules and paper heading requirements' speech. I even had to pull one kid aside and give him THE BEHAVIOR CHAT at the end of the hour. Really? This is starting on the first day of school? Behavior like this isn't supposed to manifest itself until at least mid-September. If I was going to tame this beast it was clear I had to get my game face on.
Seeing what I had to do, I was a bit of a behavior tyrant for most of that first week. I learned names wicked quick, pulled kids out in the hall left and right to give them THE BEHAVIOR CHAT, and was uncharacteristically humorless. I should add that for the majority of the week I was wearing my hair up (in an attempt to look older and more authoritative) and was wearing my glasses (because for the life of me I couldn't find my contacts).
Finally, Friday came and my behavior management techniques were starting to work their magic. With fewer behavior issues, I was able to smile more and crack a joke or too. Coincidentally, I wore my hair down that day and, having found my contacts, lost the glasses. (I know you're now conjuring an image of the librarian shaking down her bun and transforming into the sexpot. Please don't. I'm a professional, damn it.) Apparently, my appearance changed too drastically for one kid who insisted for five minutes that I was a substitute, not the same woman who'd been yelling at him all week - but I digress. In short, things were going well and I had almost stopped entertaining my week-long daydream of quitting my job to work as a flight attendant. Then, at the end of the hour the 'hair as mood-ring' theory was born when a students raised his hand and declared, "You know, you're a whole lot nicer with your hair down." There's really no response to give when someone says something like this to you, so I held my tongue.
Since that moment, I've noticed a subtle change in the kids. They've been peeking their little heads in my room early in the day to check out the status of my hair. Parents have mentioned the theory in conversations. The biology teacher has even been consulted to help in the collection of data to either prove or disprove the "hair and mood" connection. I am eager to review the results of this experiment.
And I've been wearing my hair up most days.
"No, stop!," you say? "Too silly to be true!," you say? Well, stop interrupting me and I'll continue on I say.
The theory originated on the first day of school. Ordinarily, all students are angels the first day. In particular the behavior of the freshmen, most of whom are just happy that they found your room without incident, is typically exemplary, largely owing to the fact that they are completely lost in their own heads for most of the day. While the teacher drones on about his or her class rules and paper heading requirements, all they are thinking about is whether or not they will be able to find their next classroom/locker/cafeteria/bus with minimal embarrassment. Thus, they are quiet as little, awkward church mice.
But not this year.
For a variety of reasons that I won't get into here, this year's freshman class as a whole appears to have been served extra helpings of immaturity. This was immediately evident on the first day of school when I had to struggle a bit to get them to sit down and shut up so I can tell them my all-important and thoroughly riveting 'class rules and paper heading requirements' speech. I even had to pull one kid aside and give him THE BEHAVIOR CHAT at the end of the hour. Really? This is starting on the first day of school? Behavior like this isn't supposed to manifest itself until at least mid-September. If I was going to tame this beast it was clear I had to get my game face on.
Seeing what I had to do, I was a bit of a behavior tyrant for most of that first week. I learned names wicked quick, pulled kids out in the hall left and right to give them THE BEHAVIOR CHAT, and was uncharacteristically humorless. I should add that for the majority of the week I was wearing my hair up (in an attempt to look older and more authoritative) and was wearing my glasses (because for the life of me I couldn't find my contacts).
Finally, Friday came and my behavior management techniques were starting to work their magic. With fewer behavior issues, I was able to smile more and crack a joke or too. Coincidentally, I wore my hair down that day and, having found my contacts, lost the glasses. (I know you're now conjuring an image of the librarian shaking down her bun and transforming into the sexpot. Please don't. I'm a professional, damn it.) Apparently, my appearance changed too drastically for one kid who insisted for five minutes that I was a substitute, not the same woman who'd been yelling at him all week - but I digress. In short, things were going well and I had almost stopped entertaining my week-long daydream of quitting my job to work as a flight attendant. Then, at the end of the hour the 'hair as mood-ring' theory was born when a students raised his hand and declared, "You know, you're a whole lot nicer with your hair down." There's really no response to give when someone says something like this to you, so I held my tongue.
Since that moment, I've noticed a subtle change in the kids. They've been peeking their little heads in my room early in the day to check out the status of my hair. Parents have mentioned the theory in conversations. The biology teacher has even been consulted to help in the collection of data to either prove or disprove the "hair and mood" connection. I am eager to review the results of this experiment.
And I've been wearing my hair up most days.
2 Comments:
Oh God, that's funny. I love it when the parents are in on that kind of thing, too.
What's even better is that it'll puzzle them all year long - especially if they're gathering data on it for science. I'd say play it up and keep them guessing! Huzzah for the Teacher Mystique!
Does Lakeland hold Science Fair? This would be a great experiment for that. Maybe the tighter your hair is pulled back the crankier you are. I wish I had had this insight when you were living at home. Nate have you noticed this to be true?
Mom
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