Crikey, I'm cranky today.
It began when I accidentally turned my alarm clock off instead of hitting snooze (again). I haven't been sleeping well recently due to a rather frightening late-night encounter a few days ago and consequently I can't seem to sleep soundly until the sun has come up, signaling that the bogeymen have gone. (There's a story there, but I'm waiting until the nerves settle a bit before I tell it.)
It escalated when I was walking to my "Butts and Guts" class at the gym and a total stranger called out to me, "Smile. It's not so bad!" I hate when complete strangers order me to smile when there is no reason to. Perfectly sane people do not walk around with absurd, clown-like smiles pasted on their faces every blasted minute of every day.
And my crank reached its peak when I read that Rob Zombie will be releasing a remake of Halloween.
BOO! This is NOT OKAY WITH ME! Now, if you know me, you know that I'm a bit of a horror movie connoisseur. I watch pretty much everything that comes out, and rather it be something legitimately scary (The Exorcist), something that tries to be scary but ends up just being gory (2006's The Hills of Eyes), or something that's unabashedly hokey (Basketcase), I'll eventually get around to seeing it. (And thanks to NetFlix I no longer have to worry about wasting $8 at the theater on such crap as the remake of House of Wax and The Ring 2.) Now, it's not that I have a problem with what Rob Zombie does. There is certainly a place for over-the-top, psychedelic gross-out films such as House of 1000 Corpses. However, the original Halloween was a stroke of genius and SHOULD NOT BE MESSED WITH! John Carpenter made one of the most brilliant horror films ever with Halloween because he understood something that depressingly few horror directors get nowadays - how to establish atmosphere.
Seeing the world through the eyes of a psychopath for the first half of a film is scary. Listening to simple, repetitive piano notes echoed over and over and over again is scary. A nondescript, white Halloween mask hiding a mysterious and never-seen face IS SCARY. Watching someone get disemboweled by a unrealistically grotesque-looking monster while heavy metal music plays in the background and strobe lights flash IS NOT. Rob Zombie remaking Halloween would be like Paris Hilton singing a cover of "Ave Maria" or drunken hobos fingerpainting The Mona Lisa. It's a travesty and it makes me very, very angry! Gaa!!!
I need a nap. (With the lights on, and all windows firmly closed and locked.)
It began when I accidentally turned my alarm clock off instead of hitting snooze (again). I haven't been sleeping well recently due to a rather frightening late-night encounter a few days ago and consequently I can't seem to sleep soundly until the sun has come up, signaling that the bogeymen have gone. (There's a story there, but I'm waiting until the nerves settle a bit before I tell it.)
It escalated when I was walking to my "Butts and Guts" class at the gym and a total stranger called out to me, "Smile. It's not so bad!" I hate when complete strangers order me to smile when there is no reason to. Perfectly sane people do not walk around with absurd, clown-like smiles pasted on their faces every blasted minute of every day.
And my crank reached its peak when I read that Rob Zombie will be releasing a remake of Halloween.
BOO! This is NOT OKAY WITH ME! Now, if you know me, you know that I'm a bit of a horror movie connoisseur. I watch pretty much everything that comes out, and rather it be something legitimately scary (The Exorcist), something that tries to be scary but ends up just being gory (2006's The Hills of Eyes), or something that's unabashedly hokey (Basketcase), I'll eventually get around to seeing it. (And thanks to NetFlix I no longer have to worry about wasting $8 at the theater on such crap as the remake of House of Wax and The Ring 2.) Now, it's not that I have a problem with what Rob Zombie does. There is certainly a place for over-the-top, psychedelic gross-out films such as House of 1000 Corpses. However, the original Halloween was a stroke of genius and SHOULD NOT BE MESSED WITH! John Carpenter made one of the most brilliant horror films ever with Halloween because he understood something that depressingly few horror directors get nowadays - how to establish atmosphere.
Seeing the world through the eyes of a psychopath for the first half of a film is scary. Listening to simple, repetitive piano notes echoed over and over and over again is scary. A nondescript, white Halloween mask hiding a mysterious and never-seen face IS SCARY. Watching someone get disemboweled by a unrealistically grotesque-looking monster while heavy metal music plays in the background and strobe lights flash IS NOT. Rob Zombie remaking Halloween would be like Paris Hilton singing a cover of "Ave Maria" or drunken hobos fingerpainting The Mona Lisa. It's a travesty and it makes me very, very angry! Gaa!!!
I need a nap. (With the lights on, and all windows firmly closed and locked.)
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