Thursday, April 27, 2006
please humor me while i attempt to shake my funk
Gah! There seems to be no end to things that irritate me today. I won't delve into my work frustrations but they were abundant, and then I come home to discover that, once again, I have lost my driver's license. Ever since I've started going to the gym regularly this has been an issue, but I'm pretty sure that it's gone for good this time, most likely having slipped behind my counter in my kitchen, rendering it forever unreachable. Honestly, the worst part is that I really, really liked my driver's license photo, something virtually unheard of and quite unlikely to ever be repeated. I guess I could find humor in the fact my next step was to search Google for what might happen to me should I get pulled over tomorrow and forced to admit that I'm driving without a license, but I couldn't find an answer to that question which only exacerbated my intense state of irritation. (Does anyone know the answer to that question, by the way? Please, please, please don't tell me that they'll arrest me. I'm far too cute for jail.)

Grrr.

One bright spot of my day? A student gave a pretty funny speech about, of all things, utopian religions. It made me laugh then and so I'll try to repeat the especially funny bits so I can laugh once more. After all, I might find myself in jail tomorrow. Again, I'm paraphrasing, but I'll try to be as accurate as my memory will allow.

On Mormons:
It was a distinctly American religion, which it pretty awesome when you think about it. We actually have our own religion. Ours. No one else's. And that means that you too can think up your own crazy ideas and get people to believe them and follow you. Golden tablets in a hill? Come on! I could do better than that! So who knows? You might be the next Joseph Smith, 30 wives and all. But you'd probably get killed like he was for being a nutcase, so you might want to think twice after all.

On Shakers:
They were a very bitter group of people, and think about it, if you couldn't ever have sex you'd probably be pretty cranky too. That's why they built such awesome furniture because, well, what else would you do? They just hammered and hammered and hammered. Had to relieve their frustrations! They were non-violent too, so they couldn't even beat their wives. (I think I snorted a bit due to laughing so hard when he said that last bit about beating their wives. It is bad that I found a reference to spousal abuse so funny?)

Wish me luck tomorrow. Although blogging from jail might be entertaining for you, it's a prospect I'd like to avoid.


3 Comments:

Blogger Carrie said...

Ok, so my dad tells me that most you'd get charged with is driving w/o lisence on person, which is not a big deal. You'll just have to show proof of lisence later, maybe. Any cop that pulls you over can look you up on the computer and see you're lisenced. He recommends you get a replacement as soon as you can, obviously. Just remember, you've got a friend w/ an attorney father, which comes in handy at times.

Blogger viewmaster said...

And the DMV (or whatever you have in Michigan, gah!) will have your good pic on file and be able to use it if you ask them...unless Michigan is shifty about that kind of stuff...in any event, I kinda want to be a mormon now.

Blogger MAW said...

Thanks Carrie - that's a relief!
It's always good to have friends with lawyer parents. Does he give friend of daughter discounts, by the way? :)

Oh Viewmaster, I hope you're right that they can use my old photograph! I have terrible luck with id photographs. I seriously look like a prison inmate in my most recent id photo for the gym - orange coat and everything.(My vanity is endless, I swear.)

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