am i going to hell for this?

I begrudgingly spent most of today grading the ridiculously long short stories that my honors students turned in just before break. Here's a snapshot of the experience:

Some characters I encountered:

Reverend Marmaduke
The Floda family, consisting of Zuegt, Reltih and Aerith Floda
a guy who suffers from the Geostigma
a botanical story including the following characters/victims:
Ryan Ash
Madison Hollyhock
Nicholas Fennel
Lily Matthews
Rose Jacobs
John Iris
Kristie Aspen
Mr. Crimson (yes, he's the killer)
The Cutmore twins (yes, it's really one guy, and yes, he's an axe murderer)

Notable Quotations:
"Let's just leave, go back to France and live the life we had so planned in those sacred days of
yore!"

"I really did love you. I just wish you didn't go snooping around. You ruined everything you nasty whore!"

"Suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at his chamber door."

Am I the only one who finds this hi-lar-i-ous?


P.S. - I saw Syriana today and it scared the poop out of me. If any of that film resembles anything close to real life (and I fear it does) then we're living in a George Orwell novel.