me and my ACT

In 2007 it became a state mandate that all high school juniors, college bound or no, take the ACT, and so today I had the "honor" of becoming a member of a terrifically limited, highly elite group of people charged with administering the ACT for the third straight year in a row. What this means is I had got to spend four hours in a cave-like room watching 25 juniors half-ass their way through the test. I wasn't allowed to read, write, grade, sit, eat or drink. For the third bloody year in a row.

I'm not sure why I keep getting selected for this task, so I can only assume that The Powers That Be must have noticed how incredibly adept I am in all areas of the test proctoring trifecta: passing out and collecting things, managing a time piece, and staring off blankly into space for long stretches of time. What can I say? It's a gift.

Anyway, since there wasn't much else I could do other than observe, that's precisely what I did. And of my 25 kids:

• 20 were brunette
• 5 were blond
• 4 "rocked" the buzz cut
• 1's hair was curly
• 1 wore hers in a strange little puff directly above her forehead

• 22 were white
• 1 was black
• 1 was Latina
• 1 was 12.5% German, 12.5% English, 12.5% Cherokee, 12.5% Mexican... and after that I sort of stopped listening. (Seriously dude - we had one 5 minute break and THIS is how I had to spend it? listening to you explain why you didn't know what to bubble in under "ethnicity"? It's called "OTHER"!!!)

• 4 wore glasses
• 3 didn't, but were perpetually squinty

• 2 had acne,
• but only 1 kept picking at it
• 3 had perpetually runny noses
• 2 merely looked like they smelled,
• while 1 most certainly, offensively did

• 2 tended to rub their foreheads when they concentrated,
• 4 tugged at their earlobes,
• and 1 had the unfortunate habit of unconsciously picking at his nose

• 1 had a face I would call "cherubic"
• 2 had curious hair
• 3 had desperate facial hair
• 1 looked like she'd own a large collection of ceramic dragons
• 1 looked like she'd own a large collection of knives
• 2 looked like jocks,
• but only 1 looked like the sort who'd tape a nerd's butt cheeks together for fun after gym class
• 4 looked like they could definitely take me in a fight
• 1 looked like he sort of wanted to try

• 13 looked like they managed the test fairly well, however
• 1 kept falling asleep in the middle of the test
• 2 appeared to answer all the questions in the reading section without even glancing at the reading selection
• 4 looked as if they had abandoned all hope midway through the math section, and
• 1 looked like he wasn't even sure where he was

So there you have it - my day hangin' (once again) with the ACT.

(Whheeeeeee!!!!!!! Sure do hope we make AYPeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!)