Thursday, April 03, 2008
where the wild things are
I was rather alarmed when I first heard this story on my drive into work today, mostly because the broadcaster made it sound like the experimental embryo was equal parts cow and human and created just so scientists with Dr. Frankenstein complexes could say they did it.  Of course it only took a cursory glance at the story to realize that the "monstrous" embryo was actually 99.9% human, and it was created in the interest of stem cell research.  Obviously, the story is still worthy of controversy, however the facts make it all sound so much more reasonable.

But ethical can of worms aside, I have to admit that my first reaction was to laugh.  If you look back to my April 1st post (which I took down for a few hours since the issue ended up getting even bigger and weirder than I ever expected was possible), it appears that  anthropomorphism appears to be the theme of my week.  

And that's okay.  It could be worse.

But since it's now clear that a half cow/half human (or, "cuman") can actually be genetically engineered and that we may one day live among them, then it's clear that several questions remain.  

- With a compartmentalized stomach and the ability to derive nutrients by snacking on cud, wouldn't cumans have the neatest lawns in the neighborhood? And how would that affect the livelihood of local lawn services and industrious neighbor boys?
- Would it be considered cannibalistic for a cuman to eat a hamburger?
- With free dairy always at hand, would that spell doom for the dairy industry?
- (Imagine a milk mustache joke that I have enough couth to refrain from making, but not enough to refrain from hinting at.) 
- And most importantly, if a cuman tips over, will it be able to get up?

Did the mad British scientists even consider these momentous questions before proceeding with their voodoo experiments?!

Sorry.  I've been dealing with a half fox/half girl (or "firl") issue all week, and I think it's made me a bit crazy. a fox!

(No really, sorry.  They can't all be winners, you know.)


Blogger Steve said...

Would a lactose intolerant cuman complain about its stomachs hurting?

Could aggro-cumans participate in bullfights?

These are the questions you're making me ponder. Proud?

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