Monday, December 17, 2007
a few things learned/affirmed after today's four hour-long kamikazee christmas shopping spree:
1. Although Hollister puts forth an excellent effort, Abercrombie and Fitch wins the prize for "most annoying store in the mall" for managing to smell exactly like a cologne-soaked Frat boy but being three times as loud.

2. The above statement means I'm getting old.

3. No one, but no one buys actual CDs anymore. Walked into FYE to buy that Dylan tribute album for a certain someone and it was me, a gaggle of giggling twelve-year-old girls, some crickets and a few stray tumbling tumbleweeds. So lonely!

4. Speaking of those giggling twelve-year-olds, as it turns out I have infinite patience for kids in a classroom, however absolutely none when they come in groups of three or more, are queued up in front of me and/or milling around in the middle of my desired path. (Flames...on the side of my face...heaving breaths....)

5. In regards to #4, please again see #2.

6. No matter how resolute I am about going out and only buying for other people, I am incapable of walking past a Lush store or a Moonstruck Cafe without entering and buying something for myself. It's a character flaw, I know, but one that leaves me with soft skin and champagne truffles so I'm not going to work too hard at fixing it, you know?

7. Speaking of Moonstruck, my goodness but these are almost too cute to eat. (Almost.)

8. After watching it happen three times at three different stores and to three different people it seems that the natural reaction to hearing that your credit card has been declined is as follows: First Stage - denial, Second Stage - mock confusion, Third Stage - demanding the cashier give it a second go, and Final Stage - spinning the epically long tale of one's entire financial life story. (Crying appears to be optional.)

9. No matter how far away I am from the school where I teach, I can invariably count on two things: 1) I will run into at least one current/former student, and 2) it will be when I'm shopping for underwear.

10. This is more than a little bah humbug, I know, but I really sort of despise Christmas music, and this is felt most acutely when I'm trolling for a parking space.
11.  I am positively brilliant at spending money.

12. Unfortunately, I am positively crap at earning it.


Blogger cornshake said...

i am headed to the mall tomorrow with my mom and son in tow, so i will have some additions to #1 i'm sure. best guesses: victoria's secret (the makeup/perfume one, not the underwear one) for smelling like a high school girl's locker room right before the bell changes and everyone spritzes one last spritz of 50 products.

Hehe! I laughed out loud, especially at the first one. And I second you on #9 - depending on my mood, I just may refuse to make eye contact with ANYONE at the mall, in hopes that I at least don't "see" any students.

Blogger Carrie said...

See, I won't even enter Moonstruck, because I figure I already eat enough crap without putting myself in a chocolate shop.

For some reason, I hate Hollister more than Abercrombie. I blame low celings and that stupid cabana entrance. Gah.

I'm pretty sure my dad still frequents FYE for all his cd needs, even though I assure him it's horribly overpriced, so maybe they're targeting the 60+ generation?

Oh yeah. 11 and 12? Word.

Blogger Mary said...

I'm with you on 11 and 12 and I have absolutely no patience for children. Well, unless it's clearly children who just are unlucky and have bad parents (like the kid throwing the tantrum all the way through Target while his mom ignored him and talked on her cell phone.)

Oh and I'm jealous of the stores you have up there.

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