responses that this teacher (thankfully) kept to herself whilst parent conferencing

I hesitate saying anything at all because I really do understand the value of parents and teachers collaborating for the betterment of students, but every year I tend to leave conferences frustrated and annoyed. Rarely do the parents who need to come show up, and many of those who DO come usually do so to either 1) bask in the perfection that is their child, or 2) complain that the A- isn't an A.

This year I had a whole lot of "2"s, and when repetitively faced with the question, "What will it take for my kid to get an 'A'?" it was a tremendous internal struggle not to respond with one of the following:

"Have you considered the possibility that your child may not be a genius?"

"You do realize that most high school grades are grossly inflated by points that have little to do with his/her intelligence or ability, and so that B+ should really be something like a C? Furthermore, do you realize that "C" means average? Bet that inflated, meaningless, "above average" B+ don't look so bad now, eh?"

"Let's just say that bribing me with baked goods wouldn't exactly hurt your cause."

"I don't know. Earn more points?"

Hmpf. I don't know. Maybe I'll just give 'em all "A"s so I can call in sick come Spring conferences...