Yes, I know I mentioned taking the rest of the week off, but once again I find myself unable to resist shouting pointlessly into the vast void. Sooooo,
hello vast void; how are you this fine Thursday?
(crickets chirp, tumbleweeds tumble, etc, etc...)
Hmm. Well, I choose to interpret your silence as a tacit indication that all things are good. Coincidentally, I'm good too. Thanks fornot asking. And while you're here, I have a question, or at least something I've been pondering, and, well shucks, you're just such a super listener!
Here's the scenario: as you're taking out the garbage, a strange woman passes leisurely by on a tandem bike. She smiles, offers a polite salutation (which you, being raised right, politely return), and then turns her head, frames her eyes into sly slits and throws back an offer to let you borrow her tandem.
Now, I know what I did, but first - what would you do?
(chirp, chirp. tumble, tumble. etc, etc.)
hello vast void; how are you this fine Thursday?
Hmm. Well, I choose to interpret your silence as a tacit indication that all things are good. Coincidentally, I'm good too. Thanks for
Here's the scenario: as you're taking out the garbage, a strange woman passes leisurely by on a tandem bike. She smiles, offers a polite salutation (which you, being raised right, politely return), and then turns her head, frames her eyes into sly slits and throws back an offer to let you borrow her tandem.
Now, I know what I did, but first - what would you do?
What? You'd choose "C"? Me too! And quite wisely done, I'd say. After all, mama didn't raise no 'ho. Right? Am I right?! ;)
Would you,
A) happily accept. Meandering around on a tandem bike with a complete stranger is not only ever so fun, but a great way to meet a new friend!
Or,
B) stand mutely, garbage in hand and face quizzical as you silently attempt to sort out why a random woman would offer her tandem to you, a complete stranger, who might subject it, her or both to any number of nefarious acts.
Or finally,
C) politely refuse. It is common knowledge that when someone offers to let you "borrow my tandem" that person is speaking in salacious code, and to accept would mean you have agreed to any number of indecent proposals.(crickets continue chirping, tumbleweeds keep tumbling, etcs continue etc-ering...)
3 Comments:
How about
D) run like hell, singing that "bicycle built for two" song with your fingers in your ears until such time as you're back safe in the house. Chloe never has to send out an amber alert this way, and that's always preferable. Right!?
Now if it'd been a spin on Segway she was offering, am I safe to assume you'd be wheeling by the Montessori school as we speak, spouting GOB Bluth quotes for the duration?
E) Wonder if she was really offering the tandem to you and your husband or some other male that she imagines being in your life or, better still, has spied you with in her nighttime tandem meanderings when she parks it and looks through people's windows.
Steve, I fear that if it had been a ride on a Segway, I might just be willing to give into an indecent proposal or two. Depends how indecent. I would, however, most definitely have a live dove in my pants in GOB's honor.
And Abby, thanks for reminding me that I really should be more diligent about shutting my curtains before going to bed.
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