I have decent sized commute to and from work, and it affords me lots of time by myself every day to sit and think. Perhaps too much time. This week I've been mentally gathering a list of experiences I'd like to have before I die. I'm sure this is a list that most of us have brainstormed at one time or another in our lives, but some of the items on my list have become a bit...unorthodox. And since I can be fairly certain that none of these things will actually happen to me, I feel pretty safe discussing my fantasies. Three I've been tossing around are:
1. Insanity
I'm guessing that it would probably be terrible to actually be insane, but I'm still pretty sure I wouldn't mind trying it out nonetheless. The ground rules would have to be firm, however - I'd have to sane-up after 24 hours and I can't be allowed to do any permanent damage to myself or anyone else. For instance, pulling out my eyelashes and hair would be fine, but I'd prefer not to cut off any limbs or pull an Ophelia and drown myself in a river, you know?
The rationale?
I'm not sure. I guess I'm just curious what it would be like to completely lose my grip on reality, act bat-shit crazy and have complete immunity for what I say and do because, hey, she's nuts.
The biggest drawback?
I'm thinking that people who are actually crazy don't realize they're crazy, so the experience very well may be a total waste since I won't see anything odd in my behavior. I suppose I'll have to have the experience tape recorded for my later perusal.
2. Being stranded on a desert island
True, movies and television have certainly over-romanticized what this must actually be like, but I remain curious. Realistically, I know that this experience would probably be terrifying, lonely, and survival would be tremendously difficult at first, but I've always been one to believe I can pretty much do anything if I really want/need to.
The Rationale?
Mostly, I just want to see how good this Girl Scout drop out would be at surviving on her own.
The biggest drawback?
I have no idea how to make fire, which plants I can eat without poisoning myself, and my lack of spatial intelligence would most likely be a serious hindrance to my shelter-building ability. Plus, have you seen me? My skin is so pale I'm practically translucent. I imagine skin cancer would claim me before starvation.
3. Being chased by a roving gang of zombies
Again, I'm sure that Hollywood has made being hunted by zombies look much easier and more enjoyable than it would actually be, but I think I've done enough research to hold my own for a while. After all, how hard can it really be to outwit a zombie?
The Rationale?
Despite the fact that I've never even held a gun or had to participate in hand-to-hand combat with anything living or undead, I still imagine I'd be fairly good at it. Plus, it would make for some great stories to delight the grandchildren with.
The biggest drawback?
I'd probably be the chick who's trying to run away in heels so she trips, falls and gets eaten, and I'm pretty sure being eaten would put a serious damper on the whole experience.
So, there's your peek inside my mind at 6am. Scary, eh? Perhaps I should start listening to NPR or audio books or something...
1. Insanity
I'm guessing that it would probably be terrible to actually be insane, but I'm still pretty sure I wouldn't mind trying it out nonetheless. The ground rules would have to be firm, however - I'd have to sane-up after 24 hours and I can't be allowed to do any permanent damage to myself or anyone else. For instance, pulling out my eyelashes and hair would be fine, but I'd prefer not to cut off any limbs or pull an Ophelia and drown myself in a river, you know?
The rationale?
I'm not sure. I guess I'm just curious what it would be like to completely lose my grip on reality, act bat-shit crazy and have complete immunity for what I say and do because, hey, she's nuts.
The biggest drawback?
I'm thinking that people who are actually crazy don't realize they're crazy, so the experience very well may be a total waste since I won't see anything odd in my behavior. I suppose I'll have to have the experience tape recorded for my later perusal.
2. Being stranded on a desert island
True, movies and television have certainly over-romanticized what this must actually be like, but I remain curious. Realistically, I know that this experience would probably be terrifying, lonely, and survival would be tremendously difficult at first, but I've always been one to believe I can pretty much do anything if I really want/need to.
The Rationale?
Mostly, I just want to see how good this Girl Scout drop out would be at surviving on her own.
The biggest drawback?
I have no idea how to make fire, which plants I can eat without poisoning myself, and my lack of spatial intelligence would most likely be a serious hindrance to my shelter-building ability. Plus, have you seen me? My skin is so pale I'm practically translucent. I imagine skin cancer would claim me before starvation.
3. Being chased by a roving gang of zombies
Again, I'm sure that Hollywood has made being hunted by zombies look much easier and more enjoyable than it would actually be, but I think I've done enough research to hold my own for a while. After all, how hard can it really be to outwit a zombie?
The Rationale?
Despite the fact that I've never even held a gun or had to participate in hand-to-hand combat with anything living or undead, I still imagine I'd be fairly good at it. Plus, it would make for some great stories to delight the grandchildren with.
The biggest drawback?
I'd probably be the chick who's trying to run away in heels so she trips, falls and gets eaten, and I'm pretty sure being eaten would put a serious damper on the whole experience.
So, there's your peek inside my mind at 6am. Scary, eh? Perhaps I should start listening to NPR or audio books or something...
Labels: california dreamin', hand-to-hand combat, insanity, zombies
2 Comments:
I've thought about all these things at one time or another, so you're not alone babe. I hesitate to say I want to experience insanity, because I'd probably find it terrifying after the first 15 minutes, or I'd discover I wasn't all that far from crazy in the first place.
In terms of #3, I'll trade you vampires for zombies, but that's just because I've watched entirely too much Buffy. But I'd definitely like to fight something super/unnatural: gather a team, formulate a plan, rely on our wits, be in elaborate training montages. I think you and I both would be good at this. Actually, I think we'd be the last two girls left alive in a horror movie, but one of use would die tragically/heroically, and the other would hold the other's hand, cry and sob, curse the gods, but then pull herself together and go kick ass and forever carry the memory of her best friend with her. Ummmm. Or something like that.
Anway, I'd also add getting into a fight to my list. I want to punch someone and get punched, just so I know for sure what it's like.
Hm... you know, I could loan you my Italian CDs when I'm done... ;)
And I love that the English major/teacher always comes out in the end (I heart your Ophelia reference).
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