today's "new" post

For a variety of reasons (none of them particularly interesting) today's drive home from work happened at a snail's pace, so I had an opportunity to read a few signs posted alongside the road that I would ordinarily blow right on past. Unfortunately, I wasn't moving slowly enough to snap a picture of any of them (otherwise I would have had two stellar contributions to make to The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks), so you'll just have to trust that these signs actually exist in the world.

The first read:

"New" Pillowtop Queen-Sized Mattress for "Sale."

$195

Still "In" Plastic.

And then a few miles down the road came:

"Professional" Bra Sizing

And THAT, kids, is why grammar matters.

Unless, of course, someone isn't really selling a used mattress and someone else is offering to feel strange women up for free. In that case, and should you be in the market for either, I have some phone numbers for you.

(If not, then I hope you have a "great" weekend just the same.)