wm. shakespeare's five and twenty random things abovt me

Here's something that made me laugh today.  If you're on Facebook, then by now I'm sure you're familiar with this meme that's been floating around - "25 Random Things About Me."  Well, some guy took it to a totally awesome level by writing William Shakespeare's list for him. In Old English, even.  Here's a few choice ones:

1. Sometimes I Feele so trapp’d by iambic pentameter... Does that make me a Freake?

3. I am not uery ticklish. I am Not. So prithee, do not euen try. Waste. Of. Time.

5. Sometimes I thinke plays are all Talke, Talke Talke, and wish for a cart-chase scene. I tried one in The Merry Wives, but it looked like Shitte, so I cut it. The men playing the horses were so Pissed at me.

11. When I am happy I call Anne my Kicky-wicky. When I am cross I call her “Olde Fun Killer Hag-Ass.”

14. On the topic of dating, my daughter Susanna loues to remind me: ~Jvliet was only thirteen! And I remind her that i) she was Italian, an impulsive race ii), she was actually played by a middle-aged Eunuch named Ned, and iii) she died. That always shvts her right vp.

20. As a boy in my Bed, I would shriek i’the night that Witches wovld come to eat me. My Mother (bless her) wovld smooth my Hair and whispr ~ Be not afear’d, the Witches onlie eat the Jews.

(Via Boing Boing)