READ!

So get a load of this: 

 My department chair tells me that our principal has somehow dug up the cash to create READ posters featuring every member of our school's English department.  You know, like the celebrity READ posters,  but...not.  

From what I gather, we're supposed to come to work next Tuesday dressed to impress, so we can each be photographed by one of the (arguably) weirdest men on our staff as we clutch our favorite books and do our best to appear particularly literate. Those pictures will then be blown up, laminated, and displayed somewhere in our building.  

Our images looming.  In the halls.  Forever.

And quite frankly I can see why our principal thinks this a rather cute idea.  If I were him I would probably think so too, but the thing is I absolutely hate getting my picture taken. 

Hate. It.  

I hate it more than I hate Star Trek.  More than I hate Muzak.  Maybe even more than I hate cilantro.  It's really the #2 reason I could never be a model.  (#1, of course, being that I'd make all the other models simply dizzy with jealousy, sparking such massive walk-outs, tantrums and cat fights that the industry would be thrown into a irreversible tailspin. I simply can't have that on my conscience, folks.)

So since the prospect of having my life-size image displayed somewhere in my workplace gives my tummy the twitters, I've decided to instead focus on what book I might want to be clutching for all of eternity.  A quick scan of my bookshelf reminded me that my copy of Franny and Zooey is currently M.I.A., so it appears as if I'll have to come up with a plan B.  

Here's what's currently on the short list for plan B:

#1:

#2:

#3:

#4:

#5:

#6:

#7:
So, what do you think?  Which one should I clutch while I stare my forced grin into that camera?  Which one most screams Mrs. White?  Currently, #5 is leading by a slight margin, but there's still plenty of time to be swayed in other directions and this truly is important stuff.  

(I mean, you know - I wouldn't want to look foolish!)