an open letter to the kid(s) who pelted my car with a paintball at some point while i was inside the gym

So, you're teenagers. You act out because mom and dad try to buy your respect and turn a blind eye to any number of disrespectful looks, comments and near criminal behaviors because they're trying too hard to be the "cool" parents. Misguidedly, they think that's what you'll respond to; yet, what you really want is discipline and more defined boundaries. You're angst-ridden. You're rebellious. You're insecure. Life is pain.

I get it.

But still. Really? You're going to take out all your emotional crap on an anonymous person's car? In broad daylight?? In a public parking lot??? Seems to me that the risk was unnecessary, the payoff minimal, and the damage caused negligible. Furthermore, how exactly will random vandalism make you feel better about being you, you?

All I can hypothesize is that you were aiming to project your internalized rage onto a stranger, i.e. me. That my rage would somehow lessen yours. That, for however briefly, you hoped someone would finally understand what it's like to be you. However, no such luck. The paint came right off, and I was only mildly annoyed for a matter of seconds.

So there.

Bottom line - next time you're itching for a hug because you grew up in an emotionally distant home, please don't vandalize someone's car. I'd have hugged you. Next time, just ask.

Acrimoniously yours,
Mrs. White