tweet

I used to Twitter.  Maybe I still do - I don't know, honestly - but what I DO know is once one starts "Twittering" one suddenly starts distilling "interesting" moments occurring throughout one's day into tidy, 140 character long "tweets."  So although I've sort of stopped posting them, this isn't to say that my head isn't constantly twittering.  Trust that I'm still all a twitter, even if I've essentially ceased sharing my tweets.  Now I just write them down in my journal rather than post them, where they sit gathering dust.  They presently have no purpose, no audience, and no future, which is sort of sad in a way, so since I truly have nothing better to do, I'm going to give my previously unpublished tweets at least two out of three of those things.

So, yes.  *Ahem!*:

Mrs White...

...is watching The Reader, where Kate Winslet's nipples spend so much time on screen I'm surprised they didn't get a Best Supporting Actress Nom.

...sometimes wishes she worked in a place where her "co-workers" didn't enjoy throwing pudding cups down stairwells so much.

...is laughing while reading Lolita.  Is worried this makes her pervy.

...wants a poster to put on her classroom door that reads "Eeyore Free Zone."

...could have happily lived her whole life without knowing who Mike Jones was.  Thanks so much, students.

...hates questions she can't truthfully answer, like 'do you like my new haircut?' or 'does this make me look fat?' or 'is my essay good?'

...just (embarrassingly) reached for the same pair of $2 earrings in Forever 21 as one of her 14-year-old students.

...can take solace in the fact that at least it wasn't a $2 thong at The Express this time.

...is having a hot flash?!?

...recently decided the colon is the funniest of all punctuation marks.

...thinks the flying buttress is the funniest of all architectural terms.

...thinks "skinny jeans" should actually make one look skinny.

...is suddenly quite thankful that none of her friends keep chimps as pets.

So there you go; you're all caught up now on what I would have twittered had I not stopped twittering.  Tweet out, beaotches!